Page 30 of Now or Never

I pulled away from the curb. “What block on Freemont?”

“Second block.”

The second block of Freemont was small businesses at street level and subpar apartments and rooms to rent on the second and third floors. The gangs were ever present, but the murder rate was minimal on the second block. If I left my car unattended, it had a 50/50 chance of getting carnapped.

“So, how’s things going with you?” Lula asked.

“Going good,” I said.

“How good?”

“Just good.”

“?’Cause you got that look.”

“What look is that?”

“Like you got some,” Lula said.

“Excuse me?”

“You always look all relaxed and smiley when you had a night of horizontal refreshment. You know, like you got some color to your cheeks on account of your blood oxygen level is at a hundred percent.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Nuh-uh, it’s science. You can’t argue science. Okay, so in the past some government officials have tried to fabricate science, but I know a orgasm glow when I see one. Although, I guess it could be a bun-in-the-oven glow. What’s happening on the baby front?”

“Nothing is happening on the baby front.”

“Okay, so then you did the deed with someone, and it had to be Morelli because Ranger isn’t in town. Unless you did the deed with yourself. Except in my experience, that isn’t usually as glow producing.”

“Jeez Louise.”

“This is a good address for a laundromat,” Lula said, looking through the file. “No one in that neighborhood has their ownwasher and dryer, so either they’re dunking their undies out in the kitchen sink or else they gotta go to a laundromat.”

“Has this guy had any priors other than the parking tickets?”

“Nope. None that are listed here.”

“Any details on the crime?”

“Just that he bit this woman in the neck, and he said it was because he was a vampire.”

“Did they do a wellness check? Take him to psychiatric?”

“Not that I could tell. Arresting officer verified that the suspect appeared to be a vampire.”

“Did they take the arresting officer to psychiatric?”

“See, you’re implying that you have to be crazy to believe in vampires. That’s because you don’t got a lot ofmaybeorwhat ifin you. You doubt your imagination. That’s the part of you that’s constipated. Your imagination is all clogged up inside of you and nothing can come out. You got imagination constipation. You don’t want to believe the unbelievable. You probably don’t believe in aliens from outer space either. Or ghosts or flying squirrels.”

“Flying squirrels are real.”

“Maybe vampires are real. I bet the arresting officer looked at this guy with blood dripping off his fangs and he said,Hell yeah, this here is a vampire.”

“And you’re willing to believe in vampires because your imagination isn’t constipated?”

“You know it. If anything, my imagination got diarrhea.”

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