Page 3 of Now or Never

In an instant the car was surrounded. The Merry Men were cheering for Robin and thumping on the car with their fists. The light changed and I couldn’t move because there were Merry Men in front of me. I leaned on the horn, and they started rocking the car.

“This here’s a riot,” Lula said. “I’m getting nauseous from the rocking.” She was rooting through her enormous fake Prada tote bag. “I got a gun in here somewhere. You want me to shoot them?”

“No shooting!” I said. “Call for police.”

“I’ll already throw up by the time they get here,” Lula said.

“They’re just excited because they think they see Robin Hoodie,” Eugene said. “I could go out and calm them down.”

“That’s a good idea,” Lula said to me. “Don’t you think that’s a good idea?”

I thought it was a bad idea, but I didn’t have any better ideas. “Go out and get them off the road,” I said to Eugene, “but don’t take too long. We want to get to the courthouse before they break for lunch.”

I popped the door lock, and Eugene got out and was swallowed up in the crowd of Merry Men.

“This is working,” Lula said. “They’re moving away from the car. It’s like a herd of homeless migrating back to the church.”

“I see the herd,” I said. “I don’t see Eugene.”

I got out of the car and looked around. No Eugene. I got back in the car.

“Looks like the Merry Men got Robin,” Lula said. “Just like in the movie. They swooped in and saved Robin.”

I drove around a couple blocks, but I didn’t see Robin Hoodie or Eugene Fleck. I drove back to the Fleck house. A white Toyota Corolla was parked in the driveway. Mrs. Fleck was home.

I left Lula in the car, and I went to the house and rang the bell. A pleasant-looking woman answered.

“Mrs. Fleck?” I asked her.

“Yes.”

“I’m looking for Eugene. Is he home?”

“No,” she said. “I’m afraid he stepped out.”

I introduced myself and gave her my card. “He needs to reschedule his court date,” I said to Mrs. Fleck. “I’m available to help him.”

“That’s very nice of you,” she said. “I’ll tell him you stopped by. I’m sure he’ll be sorry he missed you.”

I returned to the car, drove to the end of the block, and parked.

“I suppose we’re doing surveillance,” Lula said.

“Yes. Sooner or later, he has to go home.”

“It better be sooner,” Lula said. “I need to tinkle.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No way. I don’t kid about tinkling. It’s on account of I drank all that coffee to wash down all the doughnuts. And then I had a couple sodas. They say you’re supposed to drink a lot of water,but I can’t see it. Water is too thin. I drink soda. It tastes better and it’s got bubbles. It’s like happiness in a can.”

“Can you hold it for a while?”

“How long is a while?”

“An hour,” I said.

“Not gonna happen.”

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