Page 113 of Now or Never

Connie enlarged the picture and zeroed in on the face.

“Omigod,” I said. “It’s definitely not Eugene.”

Lula and Connie burst out laughing.

“Who is it?” Connie asked me.

I could barely say the name. “Herbert?”

“Yes! We have to go downtown to bond him out.”

I was flat-out gobsmacked. “Herbert is Robin Hoodie? I can’t believe it.”

“Believe it,” Connie said. “He’s national news. He’s already been interviewed by the CBS affiliate. I thought Grandma would have called you by now.”

“My phone was turned off. I wanted to sleep in and have a sane morning,” I said.

“So much for sane,” Connie said. “Lula’s right. This is crazy.”

“And it was real sneaky the way they caught him,” Lula said. “Someone suggested to the police that they get a food truck set up with surveillance and everything and they lure Robin Hoodie into hijacking it. And it worked on the first day. Brilliant, right? Trenton PD is looking real smart on this one.”

“Jeez,” I said. “Go figure.”

“I waited until you got here to bond him out,” Connie said. “I thought you’d want to go with me. He’s probably in a bad way. It’s not like he’s a career criminal. They got him at ten o’clock last night and he spent the night in a cell. That’s always terrifying for first-timers.”

Connie closed the office, and we all piled into her car. I was in the back seat, and I was feeling guilty that I was the one who suggestedthe food truck and got Herbert arrested. Herbert, the entrepreneur, who had an unexplained source of income. I guess there were signs, but I missed them. I did not see this coming. Herbert was an even worse candidate for Robin Hoodie than Eugene.

“Wasn’t Herbert the one who gave you the carpet and television?” Lula asked me. “I bet they were hijacked, along with the paint for your apartment. Everything he gave you is probably hot. Here you are an officer of the law, sort of, and you’re living with an apartment filled with stolen stuff.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you,” I said to Lula.

“Yeah,” Lula said. “I’m never gonna say it again, but it’s kind of funny, right? Ironic.”

She was right. It was kind of funny. It was ironic. It got me back to smiling again. I hoped Herbert was okay. This was his first offense. He’d compensated people for their losses and, according to Morelli, everyone, including the police wives, loved Robin Hoodie to the point where no one was any longer pressing charges. With luck, he’d get a slap on the wrist.

Herbert was a little disheveled when they brought him out to us. His hair wasn’t neatly parted on the side. He was rakishly bedheaded, probably from sleeping in his hoodie. He had a five o’clock shadow that took me by surprise. I had never thought of Herbert as being someone who needed to shave. He was dressed in Robin Hoodie black, and he looked very different without his glasses and 1950s clothes. He didn’t look like a geek. He looked like a guy.

“Gee,” he said when he saw us. “This is really great of you to come get me out of jail. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble. Like, I didn’t disrupt your day or anything, did I? I apologize if I did, butboy, I’m glad to see you. Jail wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but I’ll be happy to go home. I hope my mom remembered to feed Miss Fluff, and she probably was lonely last night because she always sleeps with me. Miss Fluff, not my mom. It would be weird to sleep with my mom. My dad does it and that’s okay.”

We were all smiling. The package was different, but it was still Herbert.

“Have you talked to my mom?” Herbert asked. “Does she know I was in jail?”

“She posted your bail bond money,” Connie said.

I took Herbert by the arm. “A word in private?” I asked, leading him to a quiet corner away from Connie and Lula. “Call me crazy, but I think there are some missing parts to the Robin Hoodie story.”

“What sort of parts?” he asked.

“The Eugene parts. Eugene denied being Robin Hoodie but he never hired a lawyer to help prove his innocence. Instead, he did what he could to avoid going to court. It was as if he just wanted to prolong the process. And I wasn’t seeing any of the actual fear of a first-time offender. You don’t by any chance known Eugene, do you?”

“You aren’t going to tell anyone, right?”

“Right,” I said. “This is just between you and me.”

“I met Eugene a couple of years ago and our interests intersected. We were both Robin Hood freaks. And we got caught up in the concept of redistribution of consumer goods. Like Robin Hood. Taking from the rich and giving to the poor. Eugene thought it was an interesting concept but he wasn’t willing to actually take from the rich. So it sort of ended there. He went on to do his gaming blog. And I went on to do my entrepreneurial activities which included being Robin Hoodie. Honestly, I didn’tmean it to be this whole big deal. It just mushroomed, and all of a sudden I needed help. So I got Eugene to do my internet stuff. It was removed from the taking from the rich, you know? It was just electronics.”

“If he wasn’t involved in the taking from the rich, how did his fingerprints get on the UPS truck?”

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