Page 51 of Now or Never

“It’s beautiful,” I said, “but I can’t afford this.”

“No problem,” Herbert said. “Sometimes in my business I come across things that are looking for a home, and I do favors for people who would like to return the favor, and this is one of those things.”

“Whatisyour business?”

“I’m an entrepreneur,” Herbert said.

“Is that another way of saying you don’t exactly have a real job?”

“I’ve never thought of it that way.Entrepreneuris such a great word. It sounds European.”

“You live with your parents.”

“They like me. And it cuts down on my overhead. I could live someplace else if I wanted to. I have lots of money. Not as much as Jeff Bezos or Oprah. I might be in the Martha Stewart range. I don’t really know exactly how much money I have, but it’s a lot.”

Okay, I get this. Chances of Herbert finding someone, other than his parents, who likes him are slim to none.

“I have work to do,” I said to Herbert.

“I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

“Thanks. That would be great.”

I moved into the dining room and sat at the table. I opened my laptop and waited while it came to life. Herbert sat across from me.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“I’m watching you.”

“No. You aren’t going to watch me. That’s creepy.”

“Suppose I watched you from the living room. I could sit on the couch and watch you.”

“No.”

“Okay then, I’ll watch Mike and Manny finish the carpet. I’d watch television but you don’t have one.”

“Don’t you have something to do? Entrepreneurial stuff?”

“Not at the moment. I did some work this morning. I get up early. I don’t need much sleep.”

I pulled up a map of Trenton and zeroed in on the Stark Street bridge and Pennsylvania. I imagined myself being driven over the Delaware River into Bucks County. We turned right onto Route 32. We drove past Washington Crossing and after maybe a mile we turned off 32 and moved away from the river. I had a satellite view on my map, so I could see trees and fields and houses. Jug was talking, asking Lula questions about ice cream,while we were driving through this area, and I wasn’t always paying attention to scenery details.

I slowly scrolled through the map, looking for the house with the circular drive, horse paddocks, and an open field. I could see why Connie passed this over to me. There was a lot of ground to cover. A lot of circular driveways and a lot of open fields. And after we left Route 32, I hadn’t been sure of the direction. The road had twisted, and we made a couple turns. Finding the house was like looking for a needle in a haystack. This was going to take time and require some luck.

I stood and stretched and walked into the kitchen. I ate a couple baby carrots and returned to my laptop. Carrots were okay but they’d never replace a whoopie pie. I continued to search, and I heard the men leave my bedroom. There was some chatter at my door. Herbert told one of them that he’d see him later tonight. The door closed and Herbert came into the dining room.

“They’re done,” he said. “The rug looks good in your bedroom. Do you want to come look at it with me?”

I had a flashback to the last time I was in my bedroom with Herbert. “I’m not going to sleep with you,” I said.

“Okay, how about just sex?”

“No. Especially not sex. No sex.”

“I guess it must be that time of the month,” Herbert said. “Otherwise, women always want to have sex with me. I have animal magnetism.”

“I’m in the middle of something here. I’ll look at the rug as soon as I’m done. I’m sure it’s wonderful.”

---