Page 80 of Brazen Mistakes

My heart aches thinking about my dad, but I ignore it. He made his choice.

Trips chuckles. “Maybe. Although, I’m not sure anybody in this house would have been an outstanding officer, except maybe you.”

“You probably could have been an asshole sergeant somewhere,” I say, tapping my foot against his.

“I’d have to follow someone else’s directions for too long to ever make it to sergeant.”

It’s my turn to huff out half a laugh. “You did okay listening to me in Chicago.”

“That’s because I respect you. Your brain works differently than mine and it picks up on details in the moment that I can only see when I’ve got the time to pull it together.”

Swallowing around the lump in my throat hurts. Trips trusts me. Even with the mess I’m making of this group relationship, at least in this one way, I’ve earned his respect.

But I don’t get time to revel in the big bucket of respect he dropped, because he continues on, answering my dumb teasing question.

“I don’t know. I guess I can follow directions, but only from the people in this house. So unless that imaginary precinct of yours is made up of everyone under this roof, I’m getting booted for insubordination while I’m still a trainee.”

He glances at me when I fail to respond, the words still caught in my throat. His brows crease before he goes back to staring at the ground. “You’re doing surprisingly well with all of this, Crash.”

“I don’t feel like I am.”

“Well, the feelings aren’t what you’re getting graded on. You kept up with Summer today, and she’s a tough one to be around for more than a quick conversation. In fact, I’m pretty sure she likes you.”

“I’m not sure I like her.”

“You wouldn’t be the first. But I hear she can grow on you.”

“Who’d you hear that from?”

There’s a long pause. “Okay, I haven’t heard that, but we needed her help.”

A bubble of real laughter fights with the lump in my throat, ending in an explosive chuckle and snort.

“Now don’t go snorting on me,” Trips groans.

“Are you criticizing my laugh now?” I question, knowing that can’t be it.

“No. I’m not criticizing it. It’s just too fucking cute not to join in,” he says, hauling himself off my mattress and heading to the door.

I watch his broad shoulders ripple under his shirt, and I once again wish that he hadn’t been so clear about why we shouldn’t get any closer. When it comes to safety, Trips is unmovable.

I roll across my mattress so my head is on my pillow, curled up watching the door. “You can stay, if you want,” I say, not wanting this moment of closeness to vanish.

“I should go eat. But Clara, if you’re up in the middle of the night, feel free to knock. I can teach you some combination hits.”

A sad grin pulls at my cheek. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He leaves, the door snicking shut behind him.

I stare at the windows of my room, my view obscured by my curtains, and a shiver overtakes me. Grabbing my towel and a change of clothes, I’m once again chased out of the cozy space I created all those months ago, a refuge from a sneaky monster that I thought I’d slayed.

Too bad real life is nothing like the movies.

Chapter 30

Clara

The bath, coupled with a call to Emma, helps, even if it doesn’t get me anywhere near normal. I stay in the tub until the water cools, not quite ready to return to a world where I’m learning to pretend on purpose instead of just because it’s the safest way to survive.

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