Page 28 of Brazen Mistakes

I can’t be that for her right now.

And trying to be that when I need to keep her safe will overwhelm me. I’ve learned my limits. I stay within them. Otherwise, I shut down, and then, I’m alone. All alone. So instead, I focus on the burn in my chest. I have a checklist to review, alerts to verify, steps to follow, processes built to keep her safe.

The ID on the phone lights up. Trish. An out. “It’s my sister. I’ve got to take this,” I say, knowing my sister will be less upset than Clara if all I do is make vague affirmative noises while she talks.

Clara tugs on her sleeves, the bottom of her shirt, and it’s all I can do to keep myself from pulling her against my chest, hugging her, kissing her, losing myself in her. But not yet. She needs to be protected from Bryce.

Protected from the person I have to be to get this done.

“Oh. Okay. I’ll check back in a bit then, okay?”

“Sounds good, sugar.”

She steps past me, and I wait for her to turn back, to insist on coming with me, but after a moment, she continues down, leaving me staring after her.

It’s what I need. She deserves more than the person I am right now. But when she leaves, the space echoes without her presence. I need to fix this. And quick.

I’ve been so lost in my head, lost in her, that I’ve missed Trish’s call. For a second, I consider not calling her back, but I will not make myself a liar on top of an emotionally avoidant robot.

I close the door to my room as she answers. “Oh my God, RJ, Mama’s driving me nuts. I need a rescue.”

“What kind of rescue?” I ask, falling into my chair while verifying I haven’t missed any alerts.

“Can I come over to your place? I’ll tell Mama I’m doing your hair. Hell, I’ll even do it. You’re overdue for a protective style, anyway.”

I grimace. “Now’s not a good time, Trish.”

“Really? You’re going to tell me you’re not sitting alone in your room in front of your computer right now?”

“Well, yeah, but I have plans.”

“What plans, RJ?”

The silence is long. “I have a date.”With the hard drive of my girlfriend’s monster ex.

“RJ, it’s already six. Unless you’re taking a girl for a midnight showing of something, you’re not going anywhere. Also, that was the worst lie ever. I know you’re not dating anyone.”

I am. Only, she’s also dating two of my roommates.

Yeah, that’s not going to go over well.

I wait too long to say anything, and Trish pulls the phone away from her mouth so I can hear Mama in the background. “No, Trish, seriously, I don’t think tonight will work,” I yell into the phone.

“Yeah, Mama. I’ll be safe. And I’ll be back by midnight. I am an adult now, though. Curfew is a choice.”

My mama’s tone rises, and I hang up.

Trish is coming whether or not I want her to. After Mama’s done chewing her out, of course.

Jansen’s the one who lets Trish into my room, the green of his eyes dark as he gives me the closest thing to a glare I’ve ever seen from him. I did exactly what I was trying not to do. I hurt Clara. Damn it.

Trish shoves his shoulder. “Don’t look at him like that. I invited myself over. Go enjoy your movie. We might be down if I can get this lump away from his screens.”

Jansen flashes her a smile, one for me obviously absent. “Good luck with that. He’s a man on a mission today.”

With that, the door clicks shut, just Trish and me left in my room. She switches on the overhead light, and I blink at the mess I hadn’t seen with the lights off. “You’re a slob, Royal Justice. Pops would whoop your ass if he saw this place.”

“Like hell he would,” I growl, the anger so close to the surface I can’t hide it.

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