Page 151 of Brazen Mistakes

“I mean, we already started at the end. Maybe we should just do the whole date backwards.”

“Movie, then dinner?”

“Why not?”

He thinks for a second, then nods, pulling himself from the bed and getting dressed. And as sad as I am to see him cover up, I’m excited to see what a date with RJ will be like.

His lips twist as he stares at my mattress. “We should clean that up, shouldn’t we?”

I shrug. “I have laundry to do tomorrow anyway. And it’s not like I don’t have other bed options. Maybe yours? If that’s not too much, of course. If you need time to process, that’s fine, too.”

He pulls me to him, kissing me soundly. “I guess we’ll see how this date goes and take it from there.”

Popping up on my toes, I kiss him back, leaning into him, needing his calm, rock-steady self. “I can deal with that,” I say, my heart full.

Chapter 54

Clara

The nightmare hits at the same time the sun inches over the horizon, and unlike last time, I know I’m not falling back asleep. I’ve slept enough in the last twenty-four hours, even if it was at weird times, that it’d be pointless to try. And maybe waking up at the crack of dawn will magically fix my current sleep issues.

Ha.

Crawling out from under RJ’s arm, I throw on one of his t-shirts and some of his joggers, tightening the drawstring until I don’t think I’ll lose them.

I’m not putting on the bra and jeans that I wore for our date last night when I haven’t even had any coffee yet. And coffee sounds almost good, so I’m curious to try a different flavor.

Stumbling down the stairs, I start the pot, hopping onto the counter while I wait, channeling a little of my inner Jansen inthe move. And with a burst of clarity, I harness the bravery I found yesterday in sharing my past.

It’s time to deal with my future.

Opening my email, I click on the message from the FBI.

I know it’s not what I want. Not anymore. And holding the door open is just torturing me, locking me in limbo.

The FBI internship is an amazing opportunity. It’s the start of a whole future where I fight crime, where I change the world one case at a time.

But I’m changing the world here, too. RJ’s already taking down the men who hurt women like I was, girls and boys broken by circumstance, by parents, friends, or strangers who see them as not worth respect. Not worth privacy or autonomy.

And with the CI program, I’ll be right beside him, hunting those who hurt others, without the barrier of laws that protect only some people, while abandoning others.

If RJ’s dad actually seeks help, it might not change much of the world at large, but it will change RJ’s world, the lives of his sisters and mom.

Even smaller is the fact that Walker’s started sharing, opening his heart and showing me the wounds that he hides. So has Trips, the impossibility of his circumstance obvious.

And with Jansen teaching me to let go of the rules that have always bound me, the freedom heady and welcome after a lifetime of seeking perfection, first for my mom, and later for Bryce, it’s clear.

I don’t belong at the FBI.

My reply is short, a simple thank you followed by me declining the offer.

And when I hit send, a weight lifts from my shoulders.

That’s not the path for me. Not anymore.

Pulling down a mug, I listen to the pot’s final sputters as cursing sounds from the front hallway.

I skip to the front where Trips is struggling to carry a toolbox, a five-gallon bucket, and a freaking ladder up from the basement, banging into the doorframe as he goes.

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