Page 83 of Make Room for Love

She wrapped Isabel in her arms again. “I’m still afraid,” Isabel said.

“I know,” Mira said. “I know.”

“I’m still afraid I’m going to let you down.” Isabel sniffled. “I loved Reina, too. But it wasn’t enough. I’ve already opened up to you more than I ever did with her. But I’m afraid I’m going to fall apart again.”

“You have a cast on your arm and a brace on your foot and can barely get off the couch by yourself,” Mira said. Isabel made a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh. Mira rubbedIsabel’s shoulder. “It’s a little too late for that. Here, let me sit with you.”

She stood and helped Isabel sit up, and then squeezed in on the couch behind Isabel, letting Isabel rest against her body. Isabel was tense. “I don’t want to crush you.”

“You won’t. Relax.” Mira ran her hand through Isabel’s loose hair. “Can I braid your hair for you?”

Isabel nodded. Mira knew perfectly well that it wasn’t easy for Isabel to accept her help, and Isabel’s trust in her suffused her with warmth. She gathered Isabel’s hair at the nape of her neck and started braiding it, luxuriating in its thickness as it ran through her fingers. “Why didn’t you want to talk to Reina about what you were going through?”

Isabel was silent for a while, and Mira waited for her. It took time to unearth so much buried pain. “I didn’t know how. We were together for years, and I was always the steady one supporting her while she got her painting career off the ground. And I was the first woman she ever dated, and her parents made her choose between them and me. So I thought I had to be everything for her.”

Mira’s heart broke. “Oh, no. That’s a terrible responsibility for you to carry.”

“I felt like I couldn’t burden her.” Isabel’s voice was tight. “I still had a family who loved me. I didn’t want to make her hear about it when her family had abandoned her. She didn’t ask me to do any of this. I don’t even know if I realized that’s what I was doing.”

“Did you have anyone you could talk to?”

“I saw a therapist for a few months. But I had an argument with her and stopped going. She always said, you know,your feelings are valid. She didn’t get it. I always felt terrible after I saw her because I had to dwell on my feelings during the session. It was too much to deal with, on top of my parents and mygrandmother and my sister depending on me.” She paused. “I asked the therapist if she actually knew what it was like, taking care of a big immigrant family, and she said no, and I told her… Well, it didn’t go well after that.”

Mira smiled. “I can imagine. My mother tried to see a therapist after my aunt Miriam died and was so uncooperative that the therapist basically fired her. She found someone else eventually. But she hated people telling her what to do.”

“I want to meet your parents someday,” Isabel said. “I mean, if— I don’t mean to?—”

“I want them to meet you too. They’ll love you. My mother might try to interview you. She can’t help it.” Mira finished braiding Isabel’s hair and secured it with a purple scrunchie she’d left on the end table. A cute new look for Isabel. “I’m named after my aunt Miriam. Did I ever tell you that?” Isabel shook her head. “I spent a long time trying to decide on a new name, and then my mother suggested it. It’s a little unusual for us, being named for someone I knew when she was alive, but I’m grateful for it. Oh, also, she was probably the first lesbian I ever met.”

Isabel laughed. “Oh, that’s great. I’m glad you told me.”

Mira kissed the top of her head. Isabel had a few premature gray hairs. She was going to be so sexy as she grew older, and Mira wanted to be there for every single day and year and decade of it.

She slipped off the couch and poured them tea. “There’s something else,” Isabel said. “I wish it were easier for you to leave me and leave this apartment. If you don’t win this election?—”

“Don’t you dare push me away again because you’re worried for me. I told you that if I wanted to leave you, I would.”

“But—”

“It was a lot harder for me to leave Dylan, and I still did it,” Mira said. “I thought I was alone and powerless then, and now I know I’m not. If I needed money and a place to live, it’s not only Vivian and Frankie who would help me. My coworkers in the union would help me, even if we lost the election this time around and had to rebuild. We’ve been helping Shreya with her legal fees just because she needs help, and I know they’d do that for me, too, because we do these things for each other no matter what. And, you know, choosing to love someone means you could get hurt. You’re not protected from that, either. It’s a risk for both of us, and I’m taking the risk.”

Isabel’s fear was still written on her face. “I’m choosing to trust you,” Mira continued. “All you have to do is trust that I trust you. I’d survive on my own, but I want you to take care of me. And I want to take care of you.”

It took a moment, but Isabel’s expression softened. “I want that too. I guess it really is that simple, huh?”

“Don’t overthink it.” Mira handed Isabel a mug of tea, which she took with her uninjured arm.

“Thanks.” Isabel took a sip, and Mira did, too. The earthy, gently floral tea soothed her. “My po po used to make this for us. All three of us. She said it would cure any number of things, and I don’t know if she was just saying that about whatever was going on with us at the moment.” She smiled wistfully. “Alexa would know, with her medical degree.”

Mira sat at the foot of the couch. “It couldn’t hurt. You need all the help you can get.”

Isabel snorted. Then she went quiet. “I’ve been thinking about something else,” she said, finally. “I don’t know if I should say this. You can say no.”

“Just tell me.”

“I had some money saved up for Grace’s wedding. She told me she didn’t need it.” Isabel hesitated again. “I know you don’tneed my charity. But if you don’t win your election and don’t get a pay raise, and it’d be easier for you if you had some savings… If you tell me, I’ll transfer it to you and never mention it again. I’d be less worried if I knew things were easier for you. But I can deal with that. It’s your life.”

They’d come a long way since the tense conversation they’d had in the park. “That’s considerate of you,” Mira said. “You know what? I’ll think about it. You don’t have to be so nervous talking about it, either. About money or your family or anything else that’s hard.” She put a hand on Isabel’s cast. “It’s both our lives, together.”

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