Page 18 of Make Room for Love

It was what the men she worked with saw, and the women, too. If Isabel ever shared any of her struggles with other women at work, it was calculated to encourage them, not demoralize them. Sometimes she forgot that she was acting at all.

And Mira had believed it. How could she not have? Isabel had kept up the act for her, like she did with everyone else. The only person who had known better was Alexa, and she was gone.

Isabel was exhausted. She had been propping herself up for so long.

She took a sip of tea. It was too bitter, almost undrinkable, which was what she needed. This wasn’t about her. It was about Mira.

“You’re not a coward,” Isabel said. She was dead serious—she owed that to Mira—and she hoped Mira could see that. They’dnever talked about the night they met, but it had been obvious how much it had cost Mira to leave her ex.

“I am.” Mira sounded wretched. “I just want to give up. We’re not going to get a contract until next year at the earliest, and hopefully that’ll be my last year. Maybe second-to-last, at the rate my dissertation is going.” Her gaze was still lowered. “I just want to keep my head down and let things happen. If we lose, so be it. I don’t think that what I do in the union matters. They’ll succeed or fail without me. Maybe that’s not true for other people in it. It couldn’t be true for you. But it’s true for me.”

Mira’s demeanor could change in an instant. She was radiant when she let the fire inside her show, but now her flame had been snuffed out. Isabel’s anger surged. Not at Mira, but at whatever had made her feel this way. “What the hell do you think I have that you don’t?”

That startled Mira. “Everything,” she said, as though it were obvious. “All the stories you told in your speech—I could never do any of that. And you stood up to Dylan when I couldn’t even say anything because I was so afraid. And I was with him for two years in the first place because I was too scared to leave him. I just couldn’t do it.”

“You still broke up with him.”

Mira gave her a defiant look, as though she couldn’t believe Isabel was so dense. “He cheated on me. That was the clearest possible reason he could have given me. And I still…” Mira was crying now, speaking through sobs. “He kept texting me afterward. He was surprised I didn’t run back to him. And I know why. Because I let him trample all over me the whole time we were together. And he wasn’t totally wrong, because even after all that, I still second-guessed myself and thought about going back.” Mira took a shuddering breath. “So pathetic.”

“So you made a hard choice,” Isabel said. Mira stared at her blankly. Isabel exhaled and rubbed her face. “It’s not easy forme, either. I don’t just pick myself back up every time someone says something to me or tries something. I told you all about the time the owner of the shop I was salting was cornering me in his office and screaming in my face, calling me…” Isabel shook her head. Mira didn’t need to hear it.

Mira nodded. Isabel sighed again. “I had a brave face on while he screamed at me. But I cried in the porta-potty afterward. I couldn’t let him or the other guys see.” Admitting it made her gut twist like she was in free fall. “Some things just wear you down, and it never gets easier. The point is, you’re not a coward just because you’re scared.”

Mira needed to hear something to keep her going, just this once. Isabel wasn’t going to get into the habit of pouring her heart out.

“I guess so.” Mira looked at her tea for a few seconds, her shoulders hunched, emotions flickering across her face that Isabel couldn’t fully see. “Crying in a porta-potty sounds awful. Makes me feel grateful to be crying in a regular bathroom.”

“Hey,” Isabel said, “you don’t have to compare yourself—” Mira looked back up, smiling faintly.

Isabel relaxed. They eased into a more comfortable silence. Then something occurred to her. “What you said earlier about being oversensitive. Did someone say that to you? Like your ex?”

Mira stiffened, and she nodded. She folded into herself, her light growing dim again.

Isabel didn’t pick fights. She’d been in one real fight—not by choice—and had broken up a few others, and that had been enough. But part of her wished she’d really done something to make Dylan regret what he’d done to Mira.

“Fuck him,” Isabel said. Mira gave her another small smile.

Isabel poured more tea for Mira, who added milk and sugar until it turned a light tan color, and they drank their tea together.

Mira deserved so much. She deserved to be free from her awful ex, and from the hold he still had over her. She deserved to be paid fairly and to not be overworked. She deserved a warm, safe apartment to come home to, and sweet milky tea whenever she wanted it, and every other small comfort and joy.

She deserved someone who would take care of her and treat her right. Someday she’d find the right man. Probably long after she moved out of Isabel’s apartment. That was none of Isabel’s business.

Mira broke the silence. “I just wish I had better news after you helped me.”

“You’re not doing this for me.”

“I know. I’m doing it for myself, and all my coworkers.” Mira hesitated. “I kept thinking, what would Isabel say? But I guess that’s not… I don’t have to do that.”

“Don’t. Look, they’re your coworkers, and you know how to talk to them. You’re smart. You can figure it out.” Mira scoffed. Isabel went on. “Don’t think about me. Forget everything I’ve told you, if that’s what you need to do.”

“I’m not going to do that. It was helpful.”

Isabel shrugged. “You’re a good listener. And you care about people when you talk to them. You’re better at that than I ever was. I’m serious. Just keep doing that.”

Mira groaned. “I don’t know if I want to try again. And I know what you’re going to say. If everyone thought this way, we’d never get anything done.”

“You’re saying it, not me.” They shared a smile. “It’s not enough to just win your election. You’re always going to have to get together with your coworkers and fight to keep your rights. If you stop, your bosses are going to take back everything you’ve won.”

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