Page 94 of Escaping Our Reality

“How could you forget my name?”

“I’m really sorry, Clarissa. I am. I was an asshole that night.” Eagerly, I try to pinpoint Lulu’s tall frame shuffling through the crowd of people.

I turn back to Clarissa. Say something. Hurry. I need to go after her.

Seeing the anxiety of my face and realizing that Lulu and I must be an item, she nods. “It’s fine. You can go.”

“Thank you. Again, I’m sorry.”

Well, it seems like Clarissa is a much better person than me. Spying Lulu on the other side of the staircase, I watch as she speed-walks down the part of the hall I haven’t ventured to yet. I jog through the crowd of people, trying to catch up to her.

I’m caught off guard when Kristie grabs my upper arm. “Is everything okay. Is Ella upset?”

I shake her off. “Everything is fine.”

When I turn around, my eyes land on Hudson. He’s standing next to the piano player talking with some of his friends. Asshat is staring at me like I just killed his dog. It takes all my strength not to flip him off as I continue on my mission to find Lulu.

This hallway is long, just like the other with several rooms. Right next to the living room is a huge kitchen. It takes up nearly the whole left side of the house. I pass another bedroom and bathroom on the right and a huge office. Eventually, I’m left with my final two doors. One on the left and one on the right. I open the door to the left, and it’s the garage. Don’t think she went in there. Steeling my nerves, I open the door on the right. It’s a home gym.

A state-of-the-art home gym. One whole wall is nothing but mirrors with different weights and yoga stuff sitting in front ofit. There’s a big screen TV, a treadmill, a rowing machine, an elliptical machine, and one of those stationary bikes that’s more expensive than most people’s cars. And let’s not forget about the tanning both in the corner. Lulu is standing with her back to me. In front of her is a small fridge. She’s drinking a bottle of water and rubbing the scar on the back of her neck.

I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything at all. I just close the door to the room and walk closer to her. She places the water bottle on top of the fridge, but she doesn’t turn around to face me.

This can’t be good. If she can’t even stand to look at me right now, this most definitely can’t be good.

“Your body has been inside of her body, hasn’t it?”

I really don’t like those words. Those words should be saved for Lulu. They’re too intimate. Too personal. I wish she just asked me if we had sex. The word sex I can handle. I’m an adult. It happens. It’s non-committal.

“Yes, but it was just sex.”

“But isn’t that what sex is? Your hard dick being placed inside of her open and wanting body?”

I’m dying. I can’t even answer that.

“I wasn’t lying when I said the thought of you being with someone else makes me wanna throw up,” she says.

I need something to drink. Skirting around her, I grab the open bottle of water and down the rest of it. She spins away to avoid looking at me, but her plan doesn’t work so well because now she’s facing the mirrored wall, and her reflection is staring right back at me.

“You won’t ever have to worry about picturing me with some other guy. There’s no worry about bumping into some guy at the store who has seen the parts of me that you have, who has touched me the way that you have. Does that make you happy?”

There’s no point in lying. So, I’m honest. Brutally honest. “Hell, yeah, it makes me happy. I mean, I wouldn’t think less of you if I hadn’t been the guy to give you all of these firsts, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it makes me feel pretty damn special. I’m not as strong as you. I wouldn’t be able to stand here and picture you with some other guy’s mouth on you. Some other guy’s hands on you.” I grab her waist from behind and it makes her flinch. “Some other guy’s cock inside of you. I would flip my shit. Not on you. On him. I would beat him until he was paralyzed from the pain. But that has nothing to do with what I feel about you or that I would think less of you. It’s because I’m selfish. I refuse to share you with anyone.”

“Now you know how I feel.”

Kill. Me. Now.

“That girl did nothing wrong. And yet I want to claw her eyes out. Pull her hair out by the root. Scream at her for having something that’s supposed to be saved for me. And me only.”

“I’m sorry.”

“How can you be sorry for something that happened before we even met? It’s irrational for me to want an apology.

“But I still want to give it to you.”

She snorts. “Ry, by your own admission, you’ve had sex witha lotof women. We’re bound to run into some of them. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before now. I refuse to throw a hissy fit every time it happens. And I refuse to be coddled. You need to tell me I’m being stupid. You need to tell me I’m being unreasonable.”

“Not about this you aren’t. I shouldn’t have tried to escape my reality with meaningless sex. But I can’t change that now.” I bury my nose in her hair, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo.

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