Page 69 of Escaping Our Reality

“Is she alive? She can’t chew her food because she forgets how to do it so they blend her food. She can’t even use the restroom properly. My grandma has to wear diapers. And she hasn’t remembered my name in years.” He rubs his hand over his face. “Is that being alive, Lulu?”

I scoot closer to him. “I don’t know the answer to that. And that’s because the answer is different for everyone. Some people wouldn’t wanna live that way. And some people wanna stay on this earth until the very last minute possible. The fact remains that no one with Alzheimer’s has ever miraculously been cured and told everyone else what actually happened to them when they were lost in their own minds, lost in their own thoughts, locked in their own memories. Maybe she knows you and hears everything; she just can’t verbalize it. Or physically show it.” I shrug, sighing. “At least, that’s my thoughts on the matter.”

Ry jumps off the truck and walks around to the side, shielding himself from view. I don’t follow him. He needs a few minutes of space, and I graciously give him that. Eventually, he comes back around. His eyes are a little red, but he would never in a million years admit to crying.

Suffocating.

My love for him is suffocating me like a fucking pillow over my head.

He leans against the tailgate, trapping me between his arms. His muscles flex and his jaw twitches. He is breathtakingly handsome when he’s vulnerable. A shooting star that I can’t believe fell within my reach.

“I guess that wasn’t much of a fun surprise, huh?”

I slide my arms around his shoulders, tugging him closer with my legs. “It was one of the best afternoons of my life. You gave me something special today, Ry. You gave me your trust. I’d call that a pretty good surprise.”

He bends down and gently kisses my lips. When he pulls away, he caresses the side of my face with his hands, tracing the curve of my jaw, the circle of my cheek, and slant of my nose. He runs his fingers through my hair, causing a tickle in the back of my throat. Lifting a strand to his face, he inhales deeply, smelling the remaining scent of my coconut shampoo.

Content with his perusal of my body, he lifts me by the waist and sets me on the ground, slamming the tailgate closed. “Come on. I told Harlan we would pick up dinner and eat with him before his poker buddies show up.”

Chapter 29

ELLA

Ry’s taking a shower while Harlan and I finish eating. Ry eats double what we eat and still finishes before us at every meal.

“So, he really took you out there today, huh?”

“Yeah. I was shocked in the beginning simply because I had assumed that she passed away.”

“He’s never taken anyone else out there. I went a couple of times with Michael, but Crutch doesn’t want me to go. He wants me to remember Dottieas the vibrant young woman I always knew.”

“What about his parents? Trash? Do they ever go to visit?”

He takes the last bite of his cheeseburger. “They can’t. They’re not allowed to.”

I furrow my brow, dragging a French fry through a mountain of ketchup. “What do you mean? They’re family.”

“They can’t visit without Crutch’s permission. He’s got power of attorney. He can designate who’s allowed to visit and who isn’t. And Crutch would rather eat razor blades than let those lowlifes around her.”

“He’s Grandma’s power of attorney? Not his mother?”

“Hell no. She would take everything she could get from Dottie and dump her in the lowest-cost facility she could find. You know something terrible like what you see on those hidden camera news investigations.”

“But Ry’s so young to be in charge of all of those major decisions.”

“He’s an honorable boy. Best thing Michael ever did was draft a will the second Dottie got sick. He had everything figured out to protect both Dottie and Crutch. I was named temporary power of attorney for a few months after Michael’s death. As soon as Crutch turned nineteen, everything turned over to him. He’s a remarkable young man. I’m proud to call him my own. Although, he did go against Michael’swishes in one aspect, and I’ve never really forgiven him for that.”

I lean forward, engrossed in learning more about Ry. I do feel like I’m doing something a little forbidden, though—talking about him behind his back. I cast a look over my shoulder and quietly listen. When I hear the shower still running, I turn back to Harlan. “What happened? What did he do?”

Harlan leans back and stretches his arms behind his head. “It’s more of what he didn’t do–college. I mean, he’s gone to the community college, but he was supposed to go to the big university. He got in, but he was real pissed he didn’t get a scholarship. He said the school guidance counselor is supposed to help with things like that, but I know her and her family. Stuck-up little thing who thinks Crutch is like the rest of his family. But a scholarship was a moot point, Michael had set aside money for college. He planned ahead.

“When he sold me the land, it was to help offset the future expense of the nursing home and care for Dottie. But when he moved to the apartment in town and sold his house out here, that money was earmarked for Crutch’s education. Specifically.”

My mouth gapes open in shock. I stumble over my words. “Huh? Why didn’t he go to the university then? Why miss out on school for a whole year to save up money for a two-year college? Instead of going to a four-year school immediately?”

“He’s scared the money will run out, and Dottie will still be living. Still be in need of care. Some people with Alzheimer’s, especially early onset like Dottie, can live for fifteen, twentyyears. He couldn’t bear to spend that money for school, knowing that someday, ten years from now, he may need it to care for her.

“Michael was in the service—Marines. Since he was activated during a wartime classification, the VA will pick up and pay some nursing home benefits to the surviving spouse once their assets get below a certain point. If the money from the land sale started to run low, the VA benefits and Medicare would still provide a nice place for Dottie. It just wouldn’t be the place she is now. She’s in the best place in the damn state. Crutch wasn’t willing to take that chance. He hasn’t spent one dime of the money from the sale of the house. He’s saving it all in case he needs it for her.”

---