Page 33 of Escaping Our Reality

“Don’t feel sorry for me. Living with my grandparents gave me the best years of my life.”

“And your grandpa passed?”

I nod, swallowing against the boulder lodged in my throat. “The end of my senior year. Massive stroke. Died alone in the apartment. The nursing home called me at the garage when he didn’t show up to visit Grandma.”

I look up at Lulu, mesmerized by the silent tears flowing from her eyes. Her mascara turns clumpy and her eyeliner streaks, paving a small black roadmap down her cheek. She pouts in anger. “Ugh. I hate crying in front of people.”

She’s so damn beautiful, it hurts.

She thinks my grandma is dead too. I don’t correct her.

“My name is Ryland Joseph Crutchfield,” I say, answering her question from when she first got to the garage. I push away from the table. Tugging on her arm, she yelps when I pull her from her chair, onto my lap.

“Now, Lulu. Now it’s time to kiss you.”

And so I do.

Chapter 14

ELLA

I’ve been hiding in the shadows of the apartment corridor for nearly forty-five minutes now. I’ve texted and called Dakota, Catie, and Hannah over the past several days, ever since I found out the truth from Caleb, telling them that I need to speak with them. They keep putting me off.

No more. That ends today. Whoever comes home first is the lucky winner.

Five minutes later, Catie walks up the stairs. Her keys jingle in the lock and she smacks the gum in her mouth. Walking into the apartment, she flicks the door closed behind her, but not before I slam it open with my fist. It bounces off the wall with a loud bang.

Catie spins around, her hand covering her heart. She heaves a sigh of relief when she realizes it’s me. “What the hell, Ella? You scared the shit out of me.”

“Well, I could say the idea of you propositioning my sister’s boyfriend with sex to get drugs scared the crap out of me too.”

Her mouth falls open and her face burns bright red. Tossing her purse, backpack, and shopping bag on the kitchen counter, she starts shuffling through the mail, avoiding my gaze. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie, Catie. I know Carrie was using. And selling to you. My sister was obviously doing some bad things with some bad people and now she’s missing. How could none of you think that is important information to give to the detectives? If just one of you had told the truth, maybe she would be here now, instead ofwho knows where?” I toss my hand around the room, mimicking the vast unknown.

She doesn’t turn around, but I do hear her sniffle. She mumbles her response, “I don’t know what Caleb has been telling you…”

“The truth. But only after I searched and found most of the answers myself. What if this drug business got her into trouble?”

She turns around, sniffling again. Strange how she can sniffle, but her eyes are bone dry. Is she fake crying? Is this bitch seriously fake crying right now.

“Are you going to the police? Are you gonna tell them we were all doing drugs?”

“Are you kidding me right now? That’s what you’re worried about? People finding out you’re a junkie? You’re more worried about your stupid reputation than my sister’s well-being?”

Now tears do stream down her face. Selfish fear has her trembling in her fur-lined boots. Her cell phone starts to ring in her purse, but we both ignore it. “Please, Ella, you don’t understand. No one can know. I’m not an addict or anything. I just do it occasionally to take the edge off. If my parents find out, they’ll make me come home, leave school. What about graduating? I already have some companies looking at me.”

I stand straight, breathing deeply through my nose, trying to calm my raging thoughts. I press my palms to my eyelids, pushing until my vision turns black with purple and yellow spots. Finally, I put my hands down and ask the question that’s the root of it all. “If I tell Detective Marcum about the drugs, about Carrie, about you, about everything, will you come clean? Will you admit the truth and help me find my sister?”

She wipes the tears with the back of her manicured hand. “No. I’ll never admit to drug use. I’ll deny everything. Tell them I have no idea what you’re talking about. So will the other girls. It will be you and Caleb against us. And I’ll tell everyone thatCaleb made a pass at me and I turned him down. That’s why he’s making up this story now.”

So, that’s it. That’s how it’s gonna be.

Caleb is right. The girls will never tell the truth. They are more interested in their reputation. And their future. Which does nothing but pulverize Carrie’s chance of a future if she’s even still alive.

And Ry is right, the people involved with the gas station will never tell the truth, either. They are more concerned with their next high and protecting that Trey person. And whoever his supplier is.

I’m defeated. I feel like I’ve been trampled by a herd of stampeding rhinos. My weakened voice stretches the distance between us. “I just don’t get it. How did you even get started in all this? I know Carrie had the bike accident, but what happened to you? To Hannah? To Dakota? Why on earth would you start using drugs?”

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