She smiles and sighs in contentment. We decided that we wouldn’t say ‘I love you’ back and forth to one another. If one person says it, the other person has to wait until a completely different moment to say it. That was Lulu’s decision. She said saying it back and forth in response allows it to become automatic. Complacent. She doesn’t want that.
Maybe she’s afraid of becoming loveless. Like her parents.
“I can’t believe your graduation is next Saturday. Are you sure you don’t wanna walk?”
I shrug. “I could not care less about that. What am I walkingtoward? I’ve got some decisions to make, and walking across that stage would just remind me that I’ve procrastinated. Being clueless about your future and how to provide for your loved ones is nothing to celebrate.”
She swings her legs down from the seat, clears her throat, and rubs her scar. “Ry, there’s something I need to tell—”
The ringing of her phone startles us both. She grimaces when she looks at the home screen. Parents, Kristie, or Hudson. And the winner is…
“Hi, Mom.”
I close my laptop, wondering what battle My Lulu will be fighting tonight.
“Mom, I already told you I wasn’t going. Several weeks ago. So, I’m not sure where all this is coming from.”
…
“Well, I’m really sorry that Hudson, for no reason whatsoever, thought we would be attending the prom together. He never asked me. I never asked him. And he knows that I’m in a relationship with Ryland.”
Oh, shit. The prom. Is that even a thing anymore?
She sighs. “I know it’s Saturday night, but that doesn’t matter. He could ask any girl in school, and she would jump at the chance to go. I know for a fact that some of the younger girls bought dresses just in hopes that someone would ask them last minute.”
…
“I’m not changing my mind. I made my decision, and it’s final.”
…
“Why don’t we hang out instead? Me and you? We could get some takeout, watch a good movie, talk? We can go through the things that Caleb is giving us—Carrie’s things.”
I don’t know why she does it. She always tries to establish that bond, and her piece of shit mother does nothing but turn her down. Even bringing Carrie into the mix, her mom will still turn her down. At least my mother would agree to hang out with me. Sure, she would only do it to try and squeeze some money out of me, but still.
Lulu is actually having dinner with Caleb tomorrow night. He’s older than Carrie and is finishing his senior year of college. He graduates next week too. Of course, he has a four-year degree. Not two, like me. He wants to meet with Lulu to give her some of Carrie’s things that he still has. I offered to go with her, but she wants to do it by herself, just her and Caleb. I’m fine with that. I’m proud of her for always being so damn strong.
Lulu points her chin in the air, swallowing. “No, I understand.”
…
“I’m not even at home right now, Mom.”
…
“Okay. Bye.” Hanging up the phone, she looks battle wearied and drained.
“Prom?”
“Yeah. It’s Saturday night. I’m not going. Hence, the drama.”
I reach down beside me, grabbing my water. I drain half the bottle and hand the rest to her. “Why don’t you wanna go to your prom? Isn’t that some big rite of passage every high school student should experience?”
She smirks, lasering into my eyes. “Really. And how did your prom go? Did you have fun?”
Damn she-devil. She wins. “I didn’t go to my prom.”
“Exactly.”