Page 23 of Finding Our Reality

He’s walking so close, he’s basically on my heels. “What are you doing here?”

“Me? I should be asking you the same question. It’s a work night. Are you always here? Are you an alcoholic?” Grabbing the broom and dustpan, I spin around. He’s so close, I actually have to take a step back or else we would be touching.

He snorts. “Did you even see me with a beer? I’m not drinking tonight.”

That answers that. “Oh, so you just came in for the other thing then? To pick someone up? You feeling horny tonight, Ry?”

He takes a step forward. Despite my best efforts to weave out of his way, I get trapped by a cabinet, and his chest grazes against mine. All the air is immediately sucked from my lungs, rendering me motionless and breathless. My nipples peak.

I curse my body. Curse it to holy hell.

He bends his face down, breathing against the shell of my ear. “Why? You offering?”

A scalding hot shiver runs down my spine and curls low in my groin. I close my eyes, forcing my pain to the surface. Forcing all my negativity to take the reins and bring me back to life. My trauma fills my lungs with fresh air, giving me power behind my words. “I will never offer myself to you again. Get away from me. Now.”

His jaw clenches and his eyes flare, but he does as he’s told.

Shifting to the side, he reaches behind me and grabs the mop. Wordlessly, he nods to the door. Shaking in emotion, I make my way back to the table.

I’m starting to sweep, when Ry reaches out and gently grabs the broom handle. I can barely hear his whisper above the noise of the bar. “I’m sorry, Lulu. I shouldn’t have said that. Please let me get this. I really couldn’t stand it if you cut yourself.”

I’m about to yank the broom from his hands and tell him to stuff his apology where the sun doesn’t shine, but I stop. The look on his face gives me pause. Suddenly, I’m not staring at the confident, accomplished man whom I’ve been working with the past several days. I’m staring at the boy from twelve years ago. The boy who thought he was nothing but poor white trash. The boy who didn’t want anyone to see the real him. The boy I loved.

I let go of the broom and stumble back. Needing to escape, I head to the bar, leaving him behind to clean up the mess, for once.

Chapter 10

CRUTCH

“So, help me Lulu, if you grunt one more time, I’m gonna flip my shit.”

She scrunches her nose, not even looking at me. “Am I supposed to be blamed because your notes are put together like chicken scratch? No wonder your interviews didn’t get very far.”

This ink pen sucks. I flick it across the room and it bounces off the wall and falls into the trash can below. “That’s not what this attitude is about and we both know it. It’s about last night.”

She shrugs and then straightens her shoulders back into their normal stiff position. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Bullshit. “Go ahead and ask me. I know you want to.”

“What?”

“Don’t beat around the bush, Lulu. I like you when you get to the point.” I had to remind her of that, in case she forgot.

She folds her arms across her ample chest. “Fine. How many times have you slept with Kristie? Is that the real reason you said you never liked her?”

I lean forward, across the table, spreading my hands into her personal space. “I have never slept with Kristie. Never. And it wouldn’t have happened last night, so you can wipe that thought from your mind.” I stand up, and pace back and forth across the conference room. “Kristie’s at Will’s bar. A lot. And she hits on me. A lot. But I would never have sex with her, not in a million years.”

She reaches around, tracing her scar with her fingertips. “Why?”

I stop pacing. Cocking my hand on my hips, I debate how much truth to give her. I might as well lay it out there. “Well, besides the obvious fact that I’m not attracted to her in the least little bit, it would hurt you. And I think I’ve done enough of that to last for a while, don’t you?”

She nods. Just once. But that’s all I need. I know I hurt her. But watching her confirm it tears the heart from my chest.

She clears her throat and goes back to reading the notes from my prior interviews. Around midday, she surprises me, being the first one of us to mention lunch. “I’m getting hungry. It’s warm outside today. Feel like walking over to the park? There should be some food trucks down there.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Locking the conference room door, I slide the extra key off the key ring and hold it out for her. “There may be some days you wanna come in and work on Carrie’s case and I’ll be tied up on other things or out of the building. Like I said, this conference room is reserved indefinitely, so feel free to use it, even when I’m not available.”

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