Page 154 of Finding Our Reality

He never makes love to me like that.

He’s doing things with her that he never does with me.

I wish I could say that I have enough common sense and grace to retreat, holding my head high. I wish I could say that I have enough gumption and dignity to demand they stop, get out of my bedroom, get out of my house. I wish I could say that I have enough fire and anger to beat them to a pulp, leaving them in a bloody mess on my $300 sheets.

But I don’t.

The cold medicine has left me dizzy and lightheaded.

So, instead… I faint.

I pass out cold in the middle of my husband’s affair.

Chapter 1

MERIT

“You have the prettiest toes I’ve ever seen.”

The little girl loves my compliment and wiggles her blue painted toenails right under my nose.

Her mom sighs, shifting her toddler son higher on her hip. “Macy, don’t put your feet so close to Merit’s face.

“I was just letting her see my toes, Mommy.”

I secure the buckle on the white sandal and gently tickle Macy’s leg. “Alright, time to run and jump and twirl.”

Jumping from the seat, she immediately starts racing around the store, skipping and dancing. Carla, Macy’s mom, laughs. “This is her favorite part. She loves it when you say that.”

I smile, watching her play. “It was always my favorite part too.”

I call Macy back over and take a look at the fit, making sure the shoe is snug—but not too snug—with enough room to grow. Carla and Macy both agree with me; this white sandal is the winning pair. Boxing the losing shoes back up, I stack them out of the way and put Macy’s old sandals in the shoebox because she quickly informs me and Carla that she will be wearing her new shoes home. Grunting, I pop up from the floor.

Kyra has just finished checking someone out when I make it to the register. “You check them out, and I’ll fill out the card,” she offers. Pulling Macy’s index card from our handwritten database, she writes the name brand and size of the sandal, documenting today’s purchase. “Macy, what’s your favorite thing about your new shoes?” she asks.

Macy puckers her lips, giving it serious thought. “The insides are squishy. And I love the flower on the buckle.”

Kyra leans over the counter, checking out the flower. “Got it.” She enunciates the syllables slowly as she writes, “squishy and flower.”

After I run Carla’s credit card, I slide a couple of stickers and temporary tattoos in the bag before handing it over. Right then, the curious little boy in her arm reaches across and shoves a small container of paperclips with his chubby hand. My own hands aren’t quick enough to catch it, and it falls to the floor on my side of the register, sending paperclips everywhere.

“Oh no, Merit. I’m so sorry!”

I shrug. “Don’t worry about it, Carla. It’s no big deal, it’s just paperclips. I’ll pick them up.”

Her brow furrows. “Are you sure? I can help.”

Macy then tugs on Carla’s shirt. “C’mon, Mommy. Let’s go show Daddy my new shoes.”

I laugh and wave her on. “It’s fine. Y’all have a great night. I’ll see you next time.”

The door chimes as they walk out. Kyra starts picking up the few paperclips that are scattered across the counter, and I squat down, trying to rake all the paperclips on the ground into a pile. “Macy’s getting big.”

Kyra nods. “Yeah, her card shows her last shoes were bought just four months ago and she’s already gone up half a size.” When the door chimes with another customer coming in, she whispers under her breath. “Oh, shit.”

Her tone catches me off guard, scaring me. I quickly grab her shin, pinching her skin harder than reasonable. “What’s wrong?”

Oh, please don’t let us be getting robbed.

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