Page 135 of Finding Our Reality

“Excuse me?”

I think twice about it. I really don’t plan on having a burial or memorial service for him, but the state shouldn’t have to deal with the financial burden of taking care of the body. Plus, it’s not like Mom is around to take care of anything. Last I heard, she left for Florida after getting released from the city jail, and Dad got sent to the pen for the credit card skimming. I’ll have him cremated. Trash can have the remains if he wants. If not, I’ll take them to the county dump. “Sorry, that’s fine. Just let me know when his body is ready and I will coordinate with a funeral home.”

“Okay. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news today, Crutch.”

“It’s fine, Mike. It was just a matter of time.”

I put the phone on my nightstand. Lulu’s face is etched with worry. She sits up straight on the bed, with a stiff back and squared shoulders. She knows someone died, simply based on my funeral home comment, but she knows it’s not someone either of us consider family. If it were Marcum or Ray, I would be completely devastated.

She can see… I’m not devastated.

“Ry?”

“My father’s dead. Overdosed in prison.”

Her mouth falls open. “Oh.” She rapidly blinks, thinking. “That must hurt. No matter what happened, he still made you.”

I shake my head. “He didn’t make me. Grandpa and Grandma made me. Harlan made me. Marcum.” I lean forward,wrapping my hand around the back of her neck. I pull her across the bed, onto my lap. “You, Lulu. You made me.”

She leans her forehead against mine. “Andyoumademe.”

Chapter 44

ELLA

“Ry?” I lean up on my elbows and watch him as he sleeps. The tortured, cute, sexy boy I once knew has evolved into the masculine, sexy man before me.

Still tortured, but not devastatingly so.

It’s the middle of September and hard to believe that he’s only been back in my life for a little over eight months. I’ve gone from hating him to loving him. Although, I think we all know that I never actually hated him. I loved him, wildly and passionately and whole-heartedly, even when I was supposed to hate him.

Our past doesn’t haunt me anymore. It doesn’t toss me overboard and drown me. It’s there, don’t get me wrong. And the pain of him leaving me, leavingus, will never fully go away, but I can see the big picture. I can see it brought us to this place.

And this place? Well, it’s pretty damn good.

The strong lines of his chiseled jaw are highlighted in the moonlight. My fingers reach out, rubbing against the growth of his five-day beard. I lean forward, breathing my hot breath against the curve of his neck. “Ry, wake up.”

He sighs, fighting against sleep.

I suckle the soft skin underneath his earlobe and then whisper against the shell of his ear. “Ryland Joseph Crutchfield, it’s time to wake up.”

He moans. I watch as his eyelids slant open. He automatically pulls my body against his, kissing the top of my head. “What’s wrong? Bad dream?”

“Happy Birthday.”

“Hmm?”

“Happy Birthday, Ry.”

Grunting, he reaches over and his hand blindly fumbles across the top of the nightstand. Grabbing his phone, he checks the time. “Lulu, it’s been my birthday for exactly one minute. This couldn’t wait until six in the morning?”

“Absolutely not. I’ve never been with you on your birthday before. Thirty-four. Getting a little old. Maybe I should trade you in for a newer model.” I playfully bite his muscled chest, right above his nipple.

He chuckles. “I’m a good vintage, classic, even. I’d think twice before doing that.”

I look at his face, wishing I could see the pale green of his eyes, but it’s too dark. “What do you want for your birthday?”

He grabs a strand of my hair and wraps the golden-brown wave around his finger. “What are you willing to give?”

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