Page 103 of Finding Our Reality

I pluck it from his hand and stuff it back in my purse, chuckling, “You do realize this stick is covered in twelve-year-old pee.”

He laughs. “Hell, I’d frame the damn thing if you’d let me.”

He would’ve made such a good father.

“Anyway, after having a gigantic panic attack, that’s when I tried tracking you down. I got online and read everything about the Marines that I could find. That’s how I ended up at the recruiting office.” A slice of anger carves its way into my healing heart, and I do my best to stifle its sting. “Why did you refuse to give out your mailing address and contact information?”

He bites his lip, drawing my attention to the perfect curve of his mouth. “Because I was afraid you would write me. I knew you would track me down, and I was afraid of what you might say. Part of me was terrified that you would tell me to go fuck myself, tell me you had never even loved me. And the other part of me was terrified to know how much pain I caused you. I was afraid I’d go AWOL running back to you.” He scratches his chin. “Did you tell my mom you were pregnant?”

“Of course not, I knew you would never want your parents or your brother in our child’s life. I just told her that I needed to get in touch with you. She didn’t ask any other questions except what was in it for her.”

“I like it when you say that.”

I furrow my brow. “Say what.”

His palm slides across my thigh. “Our child.”

I watch as his thumb rubs back and forth across my sensitive skin.

“And you didn’t tell Harlan?” he asks.

I shake my head. “He was already worried about you. He loved you so much. I didn’t want to make him worry even more.” I take a few deep breaths. “So I turned to my parents. I thoughtDad could possibly wield some influence in some shape, form, or fashion to get your contact information.”

He sucks air between his teeth. “And how did that go?”

Resentment and bitterness coat my mouth, making me want to gag. “Mom cried, she screamed, she called me a whore. Told me I had ruined my life, told me I had ruined her life. Dad was surprisingly calm. I thought he was gonna stand by me, put my mother in line. He immediately made me an appointment for the next day with one of the best Ob/Gyns in the Southeast, a doctor over in Atlanta. He said they specialized in teen and young adult pregnancies.” I close my eyes, thinking back. “We got up early. He even stopped at this pancake spot, and we had the best breakfast. Really good cantaloupe. When we finally got there, he rushed me straight into one of the back rooms. I thought I was getting special treatment because I was the daughter of a surgeon. Then, the doctor came in to discuss the procedure and get my signature on the consent form. It was an abortion clinic.”

I turn to Ry, watching as his eyes grow wide in fury. His hand grips my thigh tighter. “My dad tricked me. He made an appointment for me to get an abortion. He didn’t even talk to me about it. He thought I wouldn’t fight it once I got there. I was always so good at going along with everything they said. Be perfect, don’t rock the boat, be good little ‘Ella’.” I smile at him. “But someone had been teaching me to fight, to stand up for myself. So that’s what I did.”

“I can’t believe he did that to you. What a bastard.”

“That night they threw me out of the house.”

Ry sits up straight, rocking the swing sideways. “What! They did what?”

“They told me that, as the remaining daughter, I had a certain image to uphold for the family. Carrie was gone, so it all fell on my shoulders. They said they wouldn’t allow me to tarnish the family name and everything they had worked for. They saidthey refused to spend their money on, and I quote, ‘a stupid slut who was deceived by some piece of white trash with a big dick’. I had two options: get an abortion or be disowned. I chose the latter. I had to give them my cash, my credit cards, my car keys, my house keys. Everything. They let me pack a bag with some clothes and toiletries. That’s it. Well, I did steal my laptop and my cell phone. I put those in the bag when they weren’t looking.” I shrug my shoulders. “In all honesty, I’m surprised they never changed the will—I thought they wrote me out of it when they kicked me out.”

Ironically, I have ended up with my parents’ extreme wealth. When all I really wanted was their love.

Ry jumps up from the swing and starts pacing, hands on his hips. “Holy shit. This is all my fault. I made you homeless! What…what did you do?”

“I walked out the door without even looking back. I called Uncle Ray and immediately moved in with him.”

I grab Ry’s hand, relishing the feel of his calloused fingers. I tug him back down on the swing. “That night was actually a gift.”

“Huh?”

“The night I was disowned, the night I was thrown away like a piece of trash, the night my heart was broken even more by the very people who gave me life is also the very same night that I’ve never felt more loved, more part of a family. Ray and Teresa opened their home to me. Holt held my hand. Raylee drove through the night just to be by my side when I woke up the next morning. They told me how much they loved me, how they would always be there for me and the baby, and how they would do anything in their power to give me and my child a wonderful life. Our child.”

He leans forward, cupping his head in his hands. Leaning back up, he shakes his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe they’ve been keeping this from me, all of these years. They werestandoffish, sure, but they always treated me with respect. Why? They should’ve been treating me like dirt. I was scum. Ray should’ve knocked me flat on my ass.” His hand finds its way back to my thigh, like my body has a homing beacon and he can’t function without being tethered to me. “How can I ever repay them? How can I thank them for what they did for you?”

I shrug. “You don’t have to. It’s what real family does for one another.” I reach back, rubbing my scar. “But… it started getting complicated.”

“What do you mean?”

“My queasiness and nausea took a turn for the worse. I couldn’t keep anything down, not even water. I would go for days without being able to eat or drink anything. I got so dehydrated, they had to hospitalize me to give me fluids. It’s called hyperemesis gravidarum. I was in the hospital for ten days. Fortunately, my condition got better once I hit week fourteen of my pregnancy.”

“Oh, Lulu.” He leans forward and nuzzles my neck, inhaling my scent and kissing the sweet spot of skin under my ear.

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