Page 102 of Finding Our Reality

I pull the T-shirt over her head, covering her before she can turn around and drive me to the brink of devastation with the temptation of her half-naked body.

I turn out the light and climb into bed. When I hold back the covers, welcoming her to bed, she smiles weakly. Her body relaxes the second she sinks onto the plush mattress, and I fold my body around hers.

We fit together perfectly.

I think we fit better now than we did.

“Let me know if I hurt your arm.”

She sighs and then yawns. “I think we’re done hurting each other.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

Chapter 33

ELLA

I park on the driveway, right beside the front porch. I’m halfway up the stairs when he comes outside. The late afternoon sun covers him in shadowed streaks of yellow and white. He’s freshly showered with wet hair. His shirt is slung across his shoulder. His cargo shorts hang low on his muscular hips, showing me the band of his boxer briefs. I watch as one lone droplet of water races down the middle line of his six pack. It makes my stomach flutter and makes my body feel thick and heated.

“Lulu?”

Focusing my attention on his face, I see the amusement in his eyes. He likes it when I look at him like this. Like he’s a mouth-watering piece of meat. Like he’s the sexiest man on the face of the planet.

He was. And he still is. He also knows it.

“Hi.”

He takes a sip from a glass of ice water. “I was just about to drive back into town to see you. You were still sleeping when I left. I told Holt to tell you that I would come back. I had to get home and do all of the yardwork; it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.”

I nod. “He told me. I just thought talking here might be better. Less chance of interruptions.” I walk up the rest of the steps. “I mean, if you’re ready to talk.”

He sniffs and looks past me to the pond. Stepping in front of me, he grazes a thumb across my jaw. “Forget about whatIwant. Areyouready to talk about it? Because when you’re ready,I need to know everything. Every single thing that happened, every small detail. But only when you’re ready. I’ll wait forever if I have to, if that’s what you want. I’m yours and I’m not going anywhere. I’m never leaving your side again.”

I reach up and rub my scar, drawing strength from it. “All these years, a boulder has been sitting on my chest, crushing me. Making it hard to function, making it hard to even breathe. I’ve been trapped and I’m ready to be free.”

Together, we sit on the porch swing. I carefully prop my purse next to me. He tosses his T-shirt on the table and holds his water glass out in front of me. I take a sip, trying to douse the flaming anxiety in my stomach, before I set it on the porch railing.

“I got your letter the day after I got back from the graduation trip. I was mad that you hadn’t called me or come to see me yet so I went to the garage and Harlan gave it to me.”

He shakes his head in disgust. “I was such a damn coward. I should have never left the way I did… without telling you. I never wanted to break up with you. I know it sounds like a cop out, but I honestly thought I was doing the right thing for you at the time.”

I trace my fingers across the bandage on my arm. “I know that now. It took me all this time to realize it. You didn’t value yourself at the time, Ry. You thought you weren’t worthy of my love. You honestly thought you were destroying my picture-perfect future. I know that now. But at the time… it was hard to see past the blinding pain. You were the love of my life, and it felt like you tossed me away like some one-night stand, like one of your other girls. My sorrow was so profound, I literally thought I was gonna die.”

“I can’t believe I put you through that. I just wanted to make myself into the man you deserved. I wanted to be someone you could be proud of. And I couldn’t do that if I stayed here.”

A piece of dandelion fuzz carries in the breeze and catches on his facial hair. I pluck it away. “Do you regret joining the Marines?”

He thinks for a minute. “I regret leaving you. I regret that decision every single second of my life. But I don’t regret joining the Marines, no. I did a lot of good things in the service. I’m proud of what I accomplished for my country and my fellow brothers. It led me to a career in law enforcement, and it helped make me the man I am today.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it. I’m tired of me and you having all these regrets. I’m ready to be done with that.” I take another drink of water and clear my throat. “I found out I was pregnant a week after I got back. I was sick on the graduation trip, but I thought it was just a stomach virus. And then I was sick after I got back, but I figured it was just because I was experiencing so much devastation with the breakup.

“I had run out of tissues and was grabbing some from the bathroom closet when I knocked over a box of tampons. They fell out all over the floor, and that’s when I realized I hadn’t had my period in a really long time. I immediately ran to the store and bought a test.” I reach down beside me and pull the small plastic baggie from my purse.

He furrows his brow and grabs it. It doesn’t take long for him to recognize what’s inside. Just like Carrie’s pregnancy test, the image is still clear to see, even after all these years. A bright pink plus sign stares back at him. “Your pregnancy test?” Awe is etched across his face. He rubs the plus sign through the clear plastic. “You kept it?”

I shrug. “Carrie keeping her pregnancy test wasn’t unique. Lots of women keep them as a memento. I mean, it’s a pretty momentous occasion when you find out you’re pregnant.”

He smiles and waves the stick back and forth. “Thank you. Thank you for showing me this.”

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