Page 11 of Finding Our Reality

I lean forward, growling at him. “Shit doesn’t even begin to describe the mess all of you are in.” I twist in my seat, blocking the side of my face with my hand, like that will magically make me disappear from Ry’s line of sight. “You knewhewas in town? All of you knew? For all these years? Andhecomes into the bar! He’s actually hanging out with my family! What the hell, Will?”

Will reaches out, covering my hand with his. “Ella, why don’t we go in the back and talk about—”

I jump off the bar seat, wrapping my purse around me. “No. I think I’ve had enough shock for one day from the people I know. Maybe it’s time I find a stranger to talk to. Maybe a stranger will be more truthful than my own family.” I stalk away to the pool tables, searching for some distance.

Thirty minutes later, I’m in the middle of a game of pool with a younger girl—probably just twenty-one—when a ruckus at the front catches my attention. I nearly laugh when I see Raylee standing in the middle of the front door, legs spread out, eyes scanning the room. She looks like a gunslinger. But I don’t laugh. Because I remember I’m mad at her. Pissed, actually. Will is standing behind the bar and he nods in my direction. Ry moved from the bar to a table about fifteen minutes ago, and he’s been watching me, making my brain toss and turn like a rolling tumbleweed.

Raylee stops in her path when she sees him. She points her finger in his face, hissing. “Why couldn’t you just stay away from the bar for a while?” He at least has the decency to look sheepish.

Her eyes catch mine, and I quickly spin away, pretending to watch the girl’s next shot. She misses.

Raylee touches my back. “Ella, I’m so sorry you had to find out this way. Can we talk for a minute?”

“Why? So you can lie to me some more?” I make my shot.

“Don’t be like that to me. You know we are always on your side. And we only want what’s best for you. Now, you can comewith me to the back to talk, or I can have Will and Cullen physically drag you to the back and tie you up, forcing you to listen to me. Your choice.”

Dramatic much?

I apologize to the girl for my hasty exit and hand my pool cue to her friend. Pulling my shoulders back, I walk with my head held high to the back room. I turn around, leaning against the crates of booze and liquor. Immediately, the door swings open and Will joins us.

“So, you all knew,” I say it as a statement and not a question. “How long have you known?”

Raylee sighs, biting her lip. “Years.” She waits to see if I’m going to interrupt her before she continues. “Marcum told us. Well, he called Dad when Crutch discharged from the service and started to talk about joining the sheriff’s department.”

“And you just welcomed him back with open arms?”

She shakes her head vehemently, and Will reaches around, gently rubbing his wife’s back. “Of course not, Dad told Marcum that he best keep Crutch out of his sight. Dad threatened to kill him if he even laid eyes on him. He could never forgive him for what he did to you. What he did to…” Her voice trails off, growing thick with emotion.

I bite my own cheek, using the pain to keep my eyes dry. “But now you’re friends with him?”

Will jumps in. “This was already a cop bar when I bought it four years ago. Crutch had already been coming in here. At first, I didn’t realize it was him until Cullen pointed it out. By then, I had already had a few conversations with the guy. I just couldn’t bring myself to throw him out. I’m sorry.”

Raylee turns around, sitting down on a crate. “It looks way worse than it is. Trust me. It’s not like we invite the guy over for family dinner and games of charades. We just don’t throw him out of the bar. Dad’s run into him a few times and let him live.So, we aren’t giving him friendship—just booze at a reasonable price and the ability to keep breathing.”

“But why not tell me?”

She lowers her voice, trying to soothe me, trying to calm me. She really is a great mom. “You said you didn’t wanna know where he was, sweetie. Every time one of us tried to talk to you about it—abouthim—you shut us down. You said you never wanted to hear his name, never wanted to think about him again. You said you didn’t care where he was.”

I purse my lips. “I know what I said, Raylee. But I didn’t actually think he was drinking beer with my cousin-in-law and working ten-hour days with my adoptive father.” I straighten the zipper on my purse, looking down. “Did you tell him? Did you tell him about what happened?”

“Of course, not! Never.”

I glance at Will. He reaches out, grabbing my hand. “I know what we did was wrong. Keeping this from you. But Crutch and I never talked about you. I promise. He knows better. As soon as I found out who he was, I told him that you were off topic. He didn’t even know I was your cousin until Cullen told him.”

I nod, trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. That’s hard to do. Even with my own family, it’s hard to do.

Raylee stands up, stretching her back. “For what it’s worth, he seems to be a decent guy. Marcum speaks highly of him. The newspaper has done a few articles about crimes he’s worked. I think he regrets leaving you. Not that it makes up for anything, I just thought you should know.”

“Well, he should regret it. I hope he tosses and turns every night, just thinking about the way he walked away from me, away from what we had.” I snort. “Besides, he can’t bethatdecent of a guy. He’s only been back in my life for a few hours, and I’ve already run into a girl he’s had sex with. He works with her. And she’s freakin’ married. Can you believe that?”

Will and Raylee share a look. The kind of look that married couples give one another. “What? What was that look for?”

“Nothing.”

“No more lies, no more secrets. Tell me. Tell me right now.”

Raylee takes a step closer to Will. “Well, it’s just… he’s still a very attractive man. Probably more so now than when you were involved with him. And, well, when you’re attractive and single…”

---