Page 107 of Finding Our Reality

She smiles weakly. “Because I refused to list his name on the birth certificate or death certificate. I put your name on everything.”

I stop pacing and stare at her. My heart beats against my ribcage. “She’s mine?” I shake my head, rewording my question, “I mean, legally, she’s mine? On the paperwork?”

“Yes. She’s yours.”

An unusual and unique sense of pride swells in my chest. I clear my throat, “So, why was that so upsetting to him?”

She chuckles on a dry laugh, “He was worried that if he ever ran for public office, someone would dig up the certificates and see that he wasn’t the father of his wife’s child.”

“And he’s not worried about the five-thousand affairs he’s had?”

She cocks her head. “Women can be paid off with no trace.”

I sit back down next to her. The porch swing creaks as we rock back and forth. I slide my hand across her smooth as silk thigh.

I need to be touching her.

“What happened after that? Between y’all? With you? How long were you in the hospital?”

“They did my hip replacement just a few hours after our daughter passed away. They waited as long as they could. Even though they stabilized me enough for the C-section, it was still an emergency. I wasn’t alone, though. Uncle Ray, Aunt Teresa, and Holt had just gotten to the hospital. I asked one of the responding paramedics to call them when I was trapped in the car. Holt said from the time they got the phone call until the time they hit the interstate, was only thirty-one minutes.” She giggles, “I guess that’s how Uncle Ray ended up with a suitcase full of T-shirts and shorts when it was already below freezing and snowing in Michigan.” She sighs, a serious memory overpowering her humor. “I wanted to see them before surgery in case I didn’t make it.”

Oh my god. “They were afraid you wouldn’t make it?”

She just shrugs. “My body had gone through a lot of shock and trauma.”

I can’t believe I nearly lost her too.

She gives my hand a comforting squeeze. “I was in the hospital for five days. Uncle Ray had called Marcum from the car when they were driving up. He immediately caught a flight. After six days, Uncle Ray, Holt, and Marcum drove back home. AuntTeresa took a six-week leave of absence from work to stay with me and help me. Hudson had class so he was gone a lot. She took me to physical therapy, held me when I cried, talked to me when I was so depressed, I thought I would die. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. She even got an extension for me from my online professors so I could take all of my finals after the Christmas holiday.”

I kiss Lulu’s knuckles. “She’s an amazing woman. Just like you.” I brush a hair from her forehead. “Did you tell your parents?”

“When he got back to town, Uncle Ray went and saw Dad. He never told me what my dad said, and I never asked. He just told me that I was his now, that I belonged to him and Aunt Teresa and that it didn’t matter what anyone else thought or what anyone else said. I was their daughter.”

I knew I always liked Ray.

Shifting in my seat, I ask, “And what happened with Hudson?”

“You know what happened with Hudson. We stayed married for nine years. He had his life, and I had my life.”

“Why did you stay married to him for that long?”

“I know it doesn’t make sense, but we just grew complacent. Lazy. He had his freedom, and it’s not like I needed my freedom to date other people. Dating was the last thing on my mind.”

“So, what finally led to the divorce?”

She debates not telling me. She debates lying. I can see it in her eyes. “So, help me, Lulu, if you lie to me, I’m gonna flip my shit.”

She growls. “Fine. After the accident, Hudson wasn’t always the friendliest. He’d say mean things. Degrade me, try to make me feel worthless.”

“He what?!”

“Don’t worry; it didn’t work. In the beginning, I was too dead to feel anything at all. By the time I came back to life, I’d already had enough criminology classes to see through his façade. It was his veiled attempt at asserting his masculinity over me. I’d chosen someone else over him, and he wanted me to think that no one else would ever chooseme. I just ignored him. He was like a peacock strutting around with his feathers splayed out. It got much easier once we moved to Mobile since we lived separately. We’d always been in separate bedrooms, but separate houses made things much better. Anyway, he came over one night to tell me that his office’s charity ball was the next weekend. I told him I wasn’t going. He didn’t like that answer. He tried to lunge at me.”

Anger clouds my vision. My jaw starts to twitch and my foot bounces against the floor in nervous energy. I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Him.

Lulu reaches over. Placing a hand on my knee, she urges my leg to stop moving. “He’d been drinking, he was slow. I jumped out of the way. He stumbled and fell into the coffee table.” She smirks. “Busted his lip. It bled all over his suit.”

Well, that makes things a little better.

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