Page 96 of Always on My Mind

“A sleepover?” Jamie wrinkled her nose. “I thought that was for little girls.”

“Um, sleepovers are for everyone. It’s not about age, it’s about vibes.”

Jamie chuckled. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I would love to have a sleepover sometime.”

“Perfect!”

Zahra finally released Jamie’s hand to clap excitedly. The heavy grief in Jamie’s chest lightened, as if Zahra had picked up one end of it.

In the dressing room with the rest of the team, Jamie helped Zahra with her pin. They stretched together before jogging out to the practice pitch. Jamie warmed up with a buoyancy she hadn’t had in the days since her breakup. She didn’t lack any power when they conducted their passing drills. For a few blissful moments, she could put her sorrow away.

Until a blonde-haired, bespectacled, Irish woman walked onto the pitch. Tessa was back. And the mere sight of her was enough to send Jamie’s heart into a tailspin.

Tessa made her way onto the pitch, greeting Rebecca and Nelle, and a few of the other staff members. She was gorgeous in the partial sunlight. It shone on her hair and face, making herglow. Her smile was wide and warm. Jamie ached at seeing it directed at anyone but herself.

Tessa turned her head and her gaze found Jamie’s across the pitch. Jamie’s heart leaped to her throat. Her mouth went dry and her eyes stung with fresh tears. Time suspended, and the rest of the pitch faded away. They were the only two people in the world for the seconds they locked eyes.

The anguish of the centuries between them pressed into Jamie’s chest. She wanted to run, but whether it was toward or away from Tessa, she couldn’t decide. What would Tessa do if Jamie jogged over and kissed her? Would it change her mind? Would it be enough? Jamie wasn’t sure. Grand gestures were not what Tessa wanted. Not if they were empty.

Tessa was the first to look away. Without saying anything. Jamie bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. She swallowed hard, through impossible tightness. She tried to inhale, but the air stuttered in her chest.

She wasn’t sure which was worse. Tessa dumping her or seeing Tessa after getting dumped by her. Both were excruciating. The breakup had blindsided her, but she had anticipated this, and it didn’t make things any easier.

Without a word to anyone, Jamie retreated back to the dressing room. She needed a moment to breathe. To get her footing when the earth beneath her, her whole world, was off balance.

She sat on the bench outside her locker. On a sob, she buried her face in her hands, and let herself cry. A deep, shoulder shaking, gut wrenching cry. She released everything inside of her. The grief, the fear, the despair. The dam broke.

“Jamie?” Zahra’s soft voice called.

Jamie glanced up through swollen, red eyes. Zahra said nothing more. She only sat beside Jamie and pulled her into her arms. Jamie rested her head on Zahra’s shoulder and weptsome more. Falling apart against a friend, leaning on her, gave Jamie the answer to one question. This was easier. At least now, someone else supported her.

When Jamie’s breathing returned to normal, Zahra nudged her upright. She wiped some of Jamie’s tears from her cheeks.

“Do you want to have our sleepover tonight?” Zahra asked.

“Yeah,” Jamie croaked out. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Zahra wrapped her arms around Jamie again. “You won’t be.”

Chapter 29

Match day, on the pitch, was where Jamie could thrive again. She couldn’t control Tessa or her father or the press. But she could control the game. And she had excellent command in their match against Sunderland. Fortunately, so did her teammates, as they had played Sunderland last season, before they were both promoted to the WSL. The Stanmore women were controlling possession and timing their passes perfectly. Monika had already gotten two shots off—one hit the crossbar and the other was blocked by the keeper.

As the Sunderland keeper made her way up to the end of the box, Jamie and the rest of the Stanmore side retreated back to their end of the pitch. Jamie paused once she reached her position in the formation, and waited to see what the keeper would do.

She rolled it out to one of her defenders. Jamie waited where she was, since the ball wasn’t on her side of the pitch. The Sunderland defender got past Monika with a nutmeg, then passed it to another player on the back line. She received it andpassed again. The last defender at the back looked away for one moment, and Jamie saw an opportunity. She raced forward and picked the pocket of the defender before taking off down the pitch.

“Shit!” she heard the defender cry, but Jamie was already putting yards between them.

She glanced up. Acres of space stretched before her toward the goal. She knew she could make a run and attempt to score by herself. But the goalkeeper was waiting.

None of her Stanmore teammates had made a run yet. Monika sprinted up the middle, so Jamie slowed down a hair to give her striker time. Before she could pass, a Sunderland defender was upon her again, and she had to tuck her shoulder and get around her. Jamie glanced up again, but Monika was offside. She couldn’t pass yet. Zahra huffed it up the pitch for support, but she had two women marking her and Jamie didn’t want to lose possession if they could create an opportunity instead. She paid them back with a nutmeg of her own and continued down the pitch toward the penalty box.

Once she was close enough, Monika was in a perfect position for a header. Jamie had the goalkeeper’s attention. One good cross, and they would have the opening goal. She planted her foot and swung the other back to cross it.

Her back foot never reached the ball. A Sunderland defender came in with a sliding tackle, studs up, and aimed right for Jamie’s ankle. A blinding pain shot up Jamie’s leg. She crumpled with a scream onto the pitch.

When she hit the ground, she screamed again, clutching at her leg. The pain was excruciating. Not the normal sting and throb from a tackle. This was the kind of pain that knocked the breath out of her. Cold sweat beaded at her hairline. Her vision darkened in the corners of her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut and sobbed.

---