Page 67 of Always on My Mind

Tessa repressed a smile. Dom was one of the first people she told that she was bisexual. She thought he ought to know, being her boyfriend and all, and he’d taken it remarkably well. When she came out to everyone, he was hugely supportive. A notable feat considering they were seventeen years old. Oddly enough at thirty, she wasn’t sure what to tell him. She and Jamie had not discussed what the story would be to others. Her mouth turned down. Would it be a betrayal to tell him she was involved? He might have follow-up questions. Would it be a worse betrayal to deny Jamie’s role in her life altogether? What were the parameters?

“I. . . it’s complicated,” she told him. “That’s all I can say.”

“Well, if you ever need a break from your holiday homework, let me know,” he said kindly. “A pint can just be a pint, if that’s what you want.”

“Aye, well, I might be able to do that.”

He smiled. “Merry Christmas, Tessa.”

“Merry Christmas.”

She walked toward the chip shop again, her chest heavy. When she thought she had all the answers, she ended up with more questions. Her situation with Jamie wasn’t nearly as clear-cut as she had hoped.

Chapter 21

The door to Jamie’s childhood home in north London loomed before her like a great abyss. Unlike the neighbors’ doors, there was no indication that the holidays were upon them. No wreath, no cheesy sign, not even candles in the windows. The door was the same black color it had always been, with a big brass knocker at the top. Jamie found herself wishing she had gone to Derry, after all. Even Ma Gallagher’s disapproval of her English origins would be easier to endure than an entirely un-festive Christmas dinner with Dexter Hupp.

It was too late for wishing, though. With a sigh, she knocked on the door. The maid, Katie, answered. She was a slender woman with graying brown hair tucked into a French twist at the back of her head. She always wore jeans and a jumper with comfortable trainers. Dexter did not insist on his maid being formal, only that she got the job done. Which she had. The house was spotless, as always.

“Ah, hello, Jamie,” she said brightly. “Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas, Katie,” Jamie returned.

“Let me take your coat, darling.”

Jamie allowed it, but held out a bottle of wine she had tucked under her arm. “I brought this.”

“Set it there,” Katie said, nodding to the entryway table. “I’ll take it to the kitchen.”

Jamie did as she was told. Once Katie had the coat, she hung it on the rack in the corner. Unsurprisingly, there were no decorations inside or a Christmas tree. The Hupps had not celebrated Christmas since Theo’s death. Jamie had dinner with her father, and that was the extent of his acknowledgment of the holiday. Jamie almost laughed as she recalled Tessa calling him a Grinch.

“Your father is in his office. I’ll let him know you’re here,” Katie said as she led Jamie to the kitchen and placed the wine in the refrigerator.

The kitchen smelled wonderful. Right away, Jamie knew what they were having—Cornish hens, green beans, and scalloped potatoes. The same meal they had every year.

“And then you’ll be off home?” Jamie asked. “Surely, Dad doesn’t make you work all day on Christmas.”

“No worries there,” Katie assured her. “I’ve got a few more things to get your dinner taken care of and then I will be on my way. He’s given me all of Boxing Day off.”

“Can I help?”

“Oh, no, darling, you sit and relax. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Your father will be right down.”

“And. . . ” Jamie hesitated. “My mother?”

She normally didn’t ask, but she’d talked it over with Lila, and Jamie wanted to see her mother. To talk to her. To create a chance for a new relationship to form. Lila said it could be healing for both of them.

“Sorry, darling,” Katie said. “Mrs. Hupp is in no mood to come down.”

Jamie pressed her lips together. Even though she expected the answer, it hurt to hear. “Yeah, alright.”

“You might go up and see her after dinner, though. She asks after you.”

“Does she?”

“Oh, yes. It might raise her spirits to see you for a few minutes. It is Christmas, after all.”

“Right. Thank you, Katie.”

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