Page 45 of Always on My Mind

Jamie gave a thumbs up.

“I want to go first!” Niamh cried, and her teammates and Tessa cheered.

“Come on up!” Paige replied and offered the microphone.

Niamh took her place on the barely there stage and leaned over the bar to whisper her song choice. Taking the microphone, she addressed the team.

“I’ll be starting us off with a classic,” she said. “The absolute artistry of S Club, formerly S Club 7.”

The team cheered and Tessa laughed as the first notes of “Never Had a Dream Come True” played over the sound system. One thing Tessa had learned about Niamh was that the girl was obsessed with anything 90s and Y2K. Not that Tessa minded. It only rubbed her the wrong way when Niamh referred to those eras as “vintage.”

The song hit differently, though, with Jamie sitting across the room. Niamh’s beautiful vocals were hardly a distraction from the meaning of the words. Especially lines such as “a part of me will always be with you” and “I just can’t say goodbye.” Jamie’s gaze found Tessa’s from across the room, and Tessa didn’t look away. She held on, staring into the blue depths of Jamie’s eyes, knowing she felt it too.

Tessa cut her gaze from Jamie’s as the song finished. She clapped and forced a smile as Niamh came down from the stage, and Zahra took her place, singing a song in Arabic.

Paige went next, followed by Eliana full-on serenading Neriah. Then Monika elbowed Jamie, indicating it was her turn.

Jamie gave her song to the bartender before stepping up behind the mic. She didn’t say anything, she only locked eyes with Tessa again and began her rendition of Willie Nelson’s “Always On My Mind.”

Tessa sucked in a soft gasp. A memory of their last time together swimming into view. They stood in Tessa’s kitchen, Tessa chopping vegetables and failing to explain what it meant when a recipe called for a “whack of spuds.” All she could say was that you knew it when you saw it. Jamie giggled at the idea, but let the argument go once that very song came on shuffle.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” she’d said.

“Willie Nelson? Seriously?” Tessa had questioned.

“I absolutely love this song, and no one does it better than Willie, not even Elvis,” Jamie had replied, setting her drink down to join Tessa at the counter. She extended her hand. “Dance with me.”

Tessa had glanced between Jamie’s hand and her face. “I’m chopping spuds here.”

“Stop and dance.”

And with that, Tessa had given in. She took Jamie’s hand and let Jamie pull her into her arms. Back then, Tessa had never felt safer in any place. She rested her head on Jamie’s shoulder and they swayed together, Jamie singing softly in her ear, dinner forgotten. For three minutes and thirty-one seconds, they were the only people in the world.

From her seat beside her, Niamh nudged Tessa with her elbow, bringing Tessa back to the present as Jamie sang “Tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died.” Jamie was still gazing meaningfully at her, no doubt reliving the memory as well.

“Alright, Tessa?” Niamh said. “You look about ready to cry.”

Tessa frowned. “Catch yourself on.”

She turned away and blinked, but the tears rolled down her cheeks. The room spun around her. She needed to leave. The song faded out, and Jamie’s voice rang clear with the words “you were always on my mind.” Tessa had to get some fresh air, or she was certain she would suffocate. She launched herself to her feet and pushed her way through the crowd to the door. She burstthrough it, sucking in the October air, raw grief encasing her heart.

“Tessa!”

She knew it was Jamie without having to look. That voice had followed her across centuries.

“Tessa, wait,” Jamie said, jogging to catch up with her on the pavement. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you back there. I only. . . I wanted to bring back a good memory. It was for me, anyway.”

Tessa sniffled. “That’s just it, Jamie. You do something like that and then say something so sweet and you are making it impossible for me to stay mad at you!”

A smile threatened the corners of Jamie’s mouth. “That is sort of my goal.”

“Sweet suffering Jesus. . . ” Tessa sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I like that you send me Emily Dickinson poems and that you remember dancing in my kitchen. But getting over you was the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do. And now you’re here, and it feels like all that effort was a waste. Because everything I have ever felt for you is still right here in my heart.” She put a hand over her chest and turned her face toward the sky, but the stars were hidden behind thick gray clouds. “I want to be with you again, Jamie, but I’m scared.”

A hand clasped hers, and Tessa looked forward again, finding Jamie right in front of her.

“I’m scared too, Tessa,” she said, interlocking her fingers with Tessa’s. “I wish I was ready. Truly, I do. I never want you to hurt the way you did last time. All I can do is promise to keep working on things.”

Tessa swallowed hard. “I hope you know I am proud of you for that.”

---