Page 104 of Always on My Mind

“Hello, love,” Tessa replied, stroking the girl’s head. “How’s the match going?”

“We’re losing,” Daphne grumbled.

Tessa rolled the cooler up and set it in the middle of the group. She flipped the top open and handed out orange slices and miniature bottles of some sports drink out to the girls.

“Losing by how much?” she asked.

“One-nil,” Laura told her. “We’re gonna do better though.”

“You’ll be brilliant, I’m sure,” Tessa said.

“But even if we don’t win, it’s like Coach Jamie says, as long as we do our best and have fun, we don’t really lose,” Laura said.

“Coach Jamie is a wise woman,” Tessa replied. “That’s why I love her.”

With that, Tessa finally gave Jamie a hello kiss. Jamie smiled through it and kept it brief. Otherwise she risked the girls making gagging sounds like they did whenever their parents kissed.

“I’ve got to finish my pep talk,” Jamie said.

“By all means. I’m away to sit with Billie and Ethan.” She peered through her glasses at the parents all lined up along the touchline. “Oh, Jordan and Laci are here too.”

She pecked Jamie’s lips one last time before walking over to join them. Jamie, a smile lingering, faced her team once more.

“As Laura said, it’s about doing your best and having fun, not about winning or losing,” she said. “If we win, what will we do?”

“Be good sports,” they echoed back.

“If we lose, what will we do?”

“Be proud of ourselves.”

“And most importantly?”

“We are more than football.”

“That’s right,” Jamie said. “Now let’s get back out there and give them the best of Stanmore under nine girls.”

“Yes, coach!” they all cried.

She high-fived or fist-bumped or hugged them all as they walked back out to midfield. It depended on what each child was comfortable with. Henry Knight stopped his little sister, Laura on her way out, and Jamie heard him wish her luck before giving her a hug around the neck. Laura hugged him back, her eyes squeezed shut by the size of her smile.

Jamie watched the second half unfold and gratitude threatened to overwhelm her. She never regretted retiring before she was forty, but she knew she wanted to do somethingmeaningful with her time. She didn’t want to be a pundit or manage a professional team. She wanted to impact the culture of football from the early stages. It was Tessa who had suggested coaching a local, youth team. Jamie had been endlessly happy ever since.

Coaching her friends’ children only made the job more rewarding. Though she and Tessa did not have their own, they were happy to support their friends who chose parenthood. Billie and Ethan with Henry and Laura; Jordan and Laci with Daphne; and Hector and Zahra had a little girl that was turning three. Auntie Tessa and Auntie Jamie were always the requested babysitters. According to the kids, they were the most fun and always had treats for them. What was not to like?

Ultimately, Jamie enjoyed seeing everyone around her building their lives together. Billie and Ethan and Jordan and Laci especially, since they were getting to live the dreams destroyed by the tragedies of their past lives. Jamie and Tessa were getting their turn too. And they never took it for granted.

In the ten years since that fateful day in the hospital, Jamie’s ankle had healed, and so had her self-worth. Through sessions with Lila, she connected even deeper into her past self, worked through the grief of losing her brother, and discovered how to be the best partner possible to Tessa. She also formed a new relationship with her mother once she was divorced.

Dexter had not reached out since Jamie dismissed him. Not a phone call, text, email, or even a letter. He wasn’t missed. She dodged any and all questions about him from reporters, and eventually they stopped asking. When she announced her retirement from football, he didn’t come up. She did think of him that day, but only once, and then she let him go again.

These days, she only thought of him when she considered her words as she addressed her squad. She never wanted to make them feel even a small portion of what her father made her feel.She centered her coaching on boosting confidence, both on and off the pitch, and being your true, authentic self.

The match ended in a one-one draw. Daphne scored the equalizer, and Jordan leaped from his chair when he cheered, drawing more than a few stares from the other parents. Not to mention the people walking through the park.

After the girls all shook hands and congratulated each other, Jamie joined Tessa who stood with Billie and Ethan and Henry. Henry wrapped his sister up in a hug.

“Well done, Laura!” he said.

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