Page 102 of Always on My Mind

“Want to watch something?”

“This pill is going to knock me out pretty soon,” Jamie said. “Can we just hold each other and sleep?”

“Of course.”

They settled back into the couch. Jamie was out within minutes. Tessa scrolled on her phone for a while until she got a text from Billie. It was a picture of Billie on her own couch, her son on her chest, his little face all peaceful in sleep.

Billie

He’s so tiny but I’m trapped until he wakes up. Who knew a sleeping baby was this powerful?

Tessa stifled a laugh as she snuck a photo of Jamie sleeping on her chest.

I know the feeling. Though my baby is much bigger than yours. I really am trapped until she wakes up.

Billie replied with a laughing emoji.

Will you two come see us sometime this week? Henry misses his Auntie Tessa.

Mummy misses Auntie Tessa too.

Tessa grinned.

Of course! Auntie Tessa misses the whole Knight family. How’s dinner on Tuesday sound?

Perfect!

Tessa locked her phone. Billie becoming a mother had meant they saw less of each other, but they spoke almost every day, via text or phone call. Tessa had offered to come by and help, but Billie assured her Betty was all the help she needed. What she wanted was Tessa’s company.

Jamie had yet to meet baby Henry, and Tessa realized she had something to look forward to with her. It would be another way Jamie could become ingrained, like she had wanted so badly at the baby shower. Finally, it was all happening for them. It was their time.

Jamie felt a bit out of place in the dressing room since she could only watch her teammates get ready for the match. She remained in her joggers and hoodie, though the joggers were pulled up over her cast. They all took turns signing it, wishing Jamie luck heading into the off season of healing.

Rebecca signed it last before she faced the team.

“Alright, ladies,” she said. “I want to start tonight by wishing you all good luck. We’ve had a solid season since getting promoted. Everyone thought we were headed straight back to relegation. But thanks to all of your efforts and working as a real team, we’re finishing in the middle of the table. Lower than the ideal, but higher than anyone expected of us. Tonight, we play one of the top clubs in the league for the second time. They won last time, but I think tonight, as it’s our last night of the season, and we’re here at home, we have the ability to beat them. I want to go out on a high note. How about you?”

A murmur of agreement went through them.

“Good to hear,” she said. “But no matter what the outcome is, I hope you all know that I’m proud of each and every one of you. Now, let’s go kick some ass!”

They cheered, Jamie along with them, wishing more than ever that she could be a part of it. She rubbed her chest to ease the ache in it.

Next season, she told herself.You’ll be out there with them.

She could hardly believe how attached she had become to the club. Stanmore was only supposed to be a stepping stone back to Tessa. And yet, she had found a team that became more like family. She knew every woman in the room could be trusted, counted on. As they all high-fived her before leaving the dressing room, that bond surged between them. They included her, even when she couldn’t be with them on the pitch. They had sent her flowers at the hospital when she had her surgery. And after, they had all made the effort to visit her when they had some time.

Sometimes, she felt embarrassed that it had taken her so long to realize her father had no real place in her life. That he could not have offered even half the support she received from Tessa, Mrs. Gallagher, and her club teammates. But she didn’t let herself wallow in those feelings. She called Lila when she felt really low. Or talked it through with Tessa or Zahra.

While her father was blocked, she had kept in contact with her mother. She had gotten her in touch with Lila, who recommended an excellent grief counselor and therapist. Natalie was getting the help she needed, and had confided in Jamie that she planned to divorce Dexter within a year. Jamie looked forward to that day. She promised to support her mother in every way she could.

Despite the broken bone, she had never felt so at peace. It was as if Abigail, Kitty, and Dinah were all resting in contentment within her now that she had overcome her fear. Jamie had discussed with Lila, and realized her father was the physical manifestation of what she had failed to conquer in her past lives. She had finally vanquished it, and with that, came the deep-seated joy that promised a happily ever after.

Jamie smiled at the person who made that ending so happy as she hobbled through the tunnel on her crutches. Tessa stood on the touchline, snapping photos of the team doing their warm-ups. Tessa looked back, meeting Jamie’s gaze and grinning.

The match started off rough. Manchester City attacked with precision, catching the Stanmore defense out several times. One of which resulted in a goal. Monika got an equalizer right before halftime. During the second half, Stanmore kept up their defense. They weren’t able to play their usual possession based football because City was so dominant, but they had several good breaks on the counterattack.

One in particular had Jamie’s heart pounding. Zahra intercepted a pass by a City player and took off in the other direction. City recovered quickly. They pursued with breakneck speed. Jamie got to her feet, crutches under her arms, and went to the touchline to watch. She had to hold Tessa’s hand to prevent chewing off her whole thumbnail.

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