Page 70 of We'll Meet Again

The fact that he remembered and made the connection was so touching that when she blinked, a tear slipped down her cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb.

“Yeah,” she told him. “I know it’s silly, but I…I don’t know, I can’t get past it. I’ve got this wall up to protect myself from the hurt in that dream because it always felt so real to me. I can honestly say I’ve never been in love before.”

“Well, that’s not too bad,” he said. “I’ve only been in love once, and it does hurt like hell when it ends.”

She winced. “And you aren’t afraid now?”

“I sure was last night,” he said. “But now that I understand a little better, I think I can handle it.” He dragged his thumb tenderly along her jawline. “It’s seeped into other things too, hasn’t it?”

She nodded. “That’s why I haven’t applied to law school. And why I never told you about it. Like Tessa told you that day you came to dinner, I hate to lose. I hate to fail. I don’t know if I can handle it.”

She had made every excuse possible to her family for her not applying, even with an offer from Stevie to help her. It wasn’t the right time or she wanted to save more money, anything other than telling them the truth. But she knew she could tell Ethan. In her gut, she felt that she could trust him. He was safe.

“I think you’ll surprise yourself if you take a chance,” he said. “I hate that I didn’t play my best yesterday, but I’m still gonna show up for training this afternoon and give it my all.”

She held him tighter, nuzzling her face back into his chest. She heard him swallow.

“And as a kid, I lived my whole life in fear that my mother was gonna die, but all that worrying didn’t stop it from coming true,” he added. “All worry does is rob us of the joy of the moment.”

She gripped handfuls of the back of his shirt and nodded. A sob threatened to emerge from the back of her throat, and in the spirit of their conversation, she let it out. She had never cried in front of a boyfriend before. Part of her wanted to obey her instinct to leave and save herself the humiliation of being vulnerable. Instead, she held on tighter.

“I feel like shit,” she said into his chest, her voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

“Hey, now, none of that,” he replied, gently rubbing her back. “It’s probably just the hangover kicking in. Those things’ll put a real hitch in your giddyup.”

A laugh burst out of her at that and she pulled away to look at him. “I really am sorry.”

“I really do forgive you.”

“Did I say anything horrible?”

“You did call Peter a two pump chump in front of the whole team,” he said, a smile tugging on his lips. “Which almost makes having a fight with you worth it.”

She giggled. “I bet it didn’t do you any favors though.”

“I’m not too worried about it,” he said with a shrug. “Now, can I make you some breakfast? We gotta get something on your stomach.”

“You want to make me breakfast?”

“Yes, ma’am. And then I’ve gotta go to training, but I bought you some bubble bath and bath bombs since I wasn’t sure which you prefer. So you just go in there and relax however you like. And there’s Cabernet on the counter in case you need a little hair of the dog. But if not, I got tea, too. Your kind and my kind.”

She blinked slowly. “You did all that…even though you were angry with me?”

“Of course,” he said. “That’s what you do for the people you lo-” He stopped short and cleared his throat. “The people you care about.”

Billie’s heart caught in her throat with what she knew he was about to say. Ethan was in love? Was he holding back now because he didn’t want to scare her off? She didn’t want that. But at the same time, she wasn’t sure she was ready to say it back. Would it make a difference to him if that was the case? Clearly, he wasn’t totally ready to say it, he’d just checked himself. What surprised her most was that for the first time, she could see herself getting to that point. She could picture - rather easily - falling in love with Ethan. But was she ready for what that meant?

“Ethan?” she said quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t call me darling when you’re angry with me anymore.”

She knew it was absurd to be fixed on that in such a moment, but she couldn’t help it.

“You got it,” he said with a gentle smile. “I’ll only call you darlin’ when I’m totally happy.”

She kissed him. “Thank you. For everything.”

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