Page 153 of Wicked Heirs

And it wasn’t fucking easy.

Didn’t they get it? I had the same urges as them—even worse, really. Except, maybe, for Orpheus with his Dark Fae nature.

I struggled for control too.

I felt the pull of the dark.

And I could almost taste how much easier it would be to just give into it.

That was what they were doing by advocating the murder of Constantine—giving into the worst version of themselves. Giving into what was easy.

They were so focused on that it meant they weren’t giving enough thought to the consequences, to what the fallout would be.

Them.

Losing a piece of their souls.

And for Orpheus and Alena, especially, they could lose themselves, the light in them, all that goodness. As much as Orpheus didn’t advertise it, he did have a great deal of that within him. He didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of his father’s rule, of the brutality he espoused. He wanted to reign with fairness and goodness. He didn’t intend to use fear to secure his position as king once he ascended to the role, he wanted to earn his subjects’ respect and support.

And as much as Alena liked to separate herself from her mom and be seen as completely different to Abigail Rose, she still shared certain traits and beliefs. She didn’t like to hurt people, or to see them hurting.

But it had become clear that under extreme circumstances, all that went out the window and the two of them went by another set of rules.

It wasn’t how it worked.

You couldn’t just open that door and then simply close it again.

It would remain forever open.

I didn’t want that for them.

I didn’t want that guilt and regret to weigh them down like it did me.

And I especially did want them waking up most days considering that the world would be a better place if they hadn’t, like I did.

One less monster in the world… in my worst moments, I really believed the world deserved that.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I couldn’t just fashion a stake from a cracked piece of wood, shove it through my heart and be done with it. To kill a hybrid being of my kind, it took a great deal more. Because of the magic running through my veins, sunlight couldn’t kill me and neither could holy water.

Basically, when I’d stepped in front of Talon as he’d gone at Alena that day with his phoenix fire, I’d taken a huge risk, because it could kill me. So could hellfire. It would tear through my magical sideandmy vampire side alike.

That night out at our snow picnic when Talon had created the fire pit out of phoenix flames, it had come to mind how easy it would be to just step into it and end the torment there and then.

But that thought had come and gone much quicker than usual.

Because of the beautiful night we’d been having.

Because of Alena.

Because ofus.

There was something to hold onto.

Before it had been my brothers, but with Alena now there also, it was stronger than ever before.

It was why I was having a hard time staying away from the three of them right now because of this awfulmissionthey were still determined to carry out.

I could barely concentrate on my studies and those thoughts about walking into the fire kept coming more powerfully and frequently.

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