Page 28 of Balor

I called the darkness, felt it settle over me. It wrapped around me like a comforting blanket. I’d never realized how much I’d missed it. All these years, I’d kept it buried. Even when I’d thought I was using it, I’d only been skimming the surface. I hadn’t known how to tap into the depths of my power. It had been locked inside me, waiting for the key.

The light from my eyes cast shadows along the walls. I could feel the power building, wanting to get out. My heart raced, my breathing ragged. I knew I couldn’t contain it much longer. I had to let it out. I just didn’t know what it would do.

The magick responded to my every thought. I could feel it in my mind, twisting around my brain.

I let out a breath, the power surging again. I could feel it pushing against the confines of my body. I had access to all of it. The darkness. The light. It was all mine. Would it destroy me? Destroy everyone around me?

I felt the darkness rise up, nearly choking me. My body spasmed as the power surged through me again. I could barely keep my head up. I could feel it spreading out, the darkness seeping into the room. Into the air. I tried to pull it back, but it wouldn’t listen. To destroy. I screamed again, the sound echoing in the small room.

The room groaned. Walls creaked, like an ancient ship on stormy seas. Or a house weathering a tempest. The floor trembled, the vibrations working up my legs. I wasn’t sure if it was the room or me. The dust shook loose from the ceiling, raining down like dry tears. A sense of instability filled the room, and it mirrored the chaos inside me. The fear I’d lose control. My heart pounded in my ears, in time with the quaking room.

I didn’t know how much more the building could take. I felt the floorboards vibrate. More dust fell, adding to the layer on the floor. The walls creaked again, louder this time. Like they were being pulled in different directions. A light fixture swayed, the shadows dancing on the walls. I could feel the energy crackling along my nerves, sparking at my fingertips.

My father had shown me a few things. One of our guards had taught me a few more. But it wasn’t enough. I had access to my family grimoire. The one that had been my father’s, and his father’s before him. It might even go back further than that. I wasn’t sure. Most of the spells didn’t have any marks letting me know who’d created them. I’d never wanted the power it contained. I’d thought it would make me evil. A monster.

Now I wondered if I’d been right.

My body convulsed, muscles tensing. Rippling under my skin. The darkness pushed at me, eager to surge out. Goose bumps prickled my skin, the raw power making my hair stand on end. The air felt heavy, like it was pressing down on me. Or maybe that was the energy in the room. I hadn’t known it would be like this. Hadn’t known it would hurt. My chest ached, my head throbbed. I could feel the blood rushing through my veins, the power wanting to follow the same path. I’d never felt anything like this before. I’d always known I had power. I hadn’t realized how much.

I’d never wanted to be like my father or grandfather. I hadn’t wanted the darkness to take over. But as I felt it swirl inside me, I wondered if I’d been right to push it away. I could save Belladonna. I could destroy anyone who tried to take her from me.

The room crackled again. I felt it in my bones. My jaw ached, my teeth clenching so hard I thought they might break. I let out another breath, the power surging again. I could feel it pushing against the confines of my body.

Sweat beaded on my forehead. My hands trembled. I tried to keep my eyes on the book. The words swam in my vision, my concentration slipping. The pressure made it hard to think.

Focus, damn it. I can do this. I would do this. For Belladonna. For my woman. I’d tear the world apart to get her back. I’d kill anyone who touched her. I needed to end this. To save her. I didn’t think I had much time left.

The walls groaned again, the room trembling harder. The air felt oppressive. Heavy. I wished I could take a deep breath. The energy crackling through the room made it impossible. My chest hurt, my lungs burning.

My hands tightened on the book, my knuckles aching. The leather felt warm to the touch. Or maybe that was my own body heat making it feel that way. My vision blurred, the room going dark at the edges. I let out a breath, not realizing I’d been holding it. A shudder wracked my frame. I wondered if I’d fall to the floor. Would the club leave me there? Would they turn their backs on me when I needed them most? If this was scaring the shit out of me, I could only imagine what they thought right now.

I could do this. I had to. I didn’t need the club’s help. Didn’t need anyone. Another shudder wracked my frame. I felt my knees buckle. I didn’t want to fall. Didn’t want the club to see me on my knees. Not like this. Not when I needed to be strong.

Belladonna. I had to save her. I needed to get this done.

The energy built to a crescendo and I screamed as it crested and washed over me. The room bathed in an ethereal glow, the light nearly blinding. I blinked and saw long shadows on the walls. They flickered and danced as the energy pulsed and throbbed. Sweat beaded on my brow, my muscles tensing. It was too much. I couldn’t hold it. Couldn’t stop it. Didn’t know if I should. The shadows seemed to writhe as if they’d come to life. I could have sworn I saw faces. They twisted and contorted, mouths opening in silent screams.

The pressure made my heart pound. Hard to think. Hard to breathe. I felt the leather of the grimoire give under my grip. The heat of it seeped into my skin. No. Not the book. My own skin. My own body.

Light flashed in the room, bright enough to make me squint. The shadows grew darker, more pronounced. I could feel the house bending, warping, as if reality itself couldn’t contain the darkness inside me. I gasped, my breath coming in short, sharp bursts.

My voice rose again, the words coming faster, more urgent. I could feel the power in them, the way they thrummed with energy. I didn’t know what I’d expected when I’d started this, but it wasn’t the feeling of my insides being pulled apart and put back together. I hadn’t felt this helpless in… ever. The darkness clawed at me, leaving behind a searing pain I couldn’t escape.

I bit back a scream. Couldn’t show weakness to the magick building inside me. I’d show it who was in control. Even if it was a lie. I was terrified I’d lose everything. That I’d be a danger to those I cared about. Destroy this town with my own two hands.

The pressure built and built, until I didn’t know if I’d survive. I could barely think straight. The darkness whispered, telling me to release it. That I’d feel better if I let it out, let it loose on the world. My heart stuttered, then raced. I had to keep control. I couldn’t let it win. Couldn’t let it turn me into something I’d hate.

My legs shook, my body trembling. I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t! I refused to let it break me. I gasped, my fingers gripping the book even harder. A surge of energy swept through me. I threw my head back and roared as I gave in to the darkness. It poured out of me, like a shockwave, and I watched in horror as shadowy tendrils filled the room. It burst from my hands, my eyes, my mouth. I was powerless to stop it. I’d failed.

I dropped the book, my body going limp as the shadows flooded the room. I’d never felt anything like it. Like I’d been a balloon filled with too much air, and I’d finally popped. My chest heaved with each breath, my body swaying.

I wanted to call the shadows back. To force them into the deepest pit I could find. I didn’t dare. I’d set them free. Now I’d have to live with the consequences. I didn’t even know what I’d done. The shadows took on a life of their own, rushing to every corner of the room. The temperature plummeted, frost creeping up the windows. Shadows deepened and thickened, the room going dark. Even with the lights on, it was like a black veil had dropped over everything. I heard a loud crack, like distant thunder.

The shadows turned, focused on me. My skin prickled, and I knew I’d been marked by my own magick. It had claimed me, as much as I’d claimed it. I’d hoped to use it. Now I wasn’t so sure it wouldn’t use me instead.

I’d done it for her. For Belladonna, I’d embrace the darkness. I’d become whatever monster I needed to in order to save her. Even if I had to save her from myself. I felt the shift in the room. The shadows had receded enough the lights could once again pierce the darkness.

I licked my lips, tasting blood. I’d bitten through the skin. I didn’t remember doing it. What else had I done? I didn’t know how to answer that. I had a feeling I’d find out soon enough.

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