“What do you mean?” Parker asked, tilting his head to the side.
I played nervously with the rim of my mug, running my fingers over it. “I haven’t been completely honest with them. Hell, I’m just starting to be honest with myself,” I said, wanting to tell Parker everything I’d been thinking over the last few weeks. “They always tell me I have ‘more potential’ than living in Faircloud and I could do so much. I can’t even tell them that I want to be here, that I love it. I always fall into their trap and make an excuse to keep their hopes up. I have no intentions of leaving this town or going back to school.”
“I never thought you did,” Parker said. “Why not tell them to get over it already? I did.”
“I know you did, which made them focus even more on me,” I replied, getting a little defensive. “I don’t want to disappoint them, Parker. I can’t handle the look on Dad’s face when he finds out his baby girl doesn’t want to be a doctor or a high-level tech person.”
“Well, what does Aspen want to be?” he asked, so nonchalant.
“A writer. I want to publish my book,” I said, flinching like Parker was going to react terribly. Who was I kidding? Parker was one of the most level-headed people I knew. He had a way of analyzing things that just made sense. He was cool, calm, and collected, something I wasn’t.
“Then do it,” Parker paused. “Start writing, and when you have something to show, bring it to Mom and Dad.” He said it like it was that easy.
“I am. Writing, I mean. I started a little bit ago. It’s in the early stages. I’m enjoying it so far.” I was new to the wholeauthor thing, but from what I read online or through meeting people in the community, I was doing well.
“Don’t let them bully you into resentment. Giving in may work for a short time, and they might be happy. What will you be? Over time it will slowly eat at you that you didn’t get a say or a chance to do what you want in your life,” Parker said and it made a big impact. He was right; it was my life to live, and the regret I’d feel doesn’t outweigh the need to make them happy. I wish I had the guts to stand up to them and make them see that.
“Thanks, Parker,” I said. Hearing the same feedback from the people in my life outside my mom and dad was more motivation for me to make it happen. I had plans and goals to achieve and I wasn’t going to get there by letting others dictate or control my actions. My brother coming to see me today gave me the motivation to stick up for what I want and be true to myself.
“You’ll do great things whether you believe it or not. Just know I’m here for you, whenever you want to tell Mom and Dad,” Parker responded.
“Please don’t say anything,” I said, putting my hands together in a begging motion. The last thing I needed was for them to find out from Parker and start blowing up my phone.
“I promise, Scout’s honor,” he said, holding upThe Hunger Gamessignal. That’s where I learned it from.
Parker hung around for a bit longer while I checked in on the other customers. I would stop by his table and offer him whatever else I could. Before he left, I gave him another hug and told him he could come by any time. Now that he hired a new employee, he had more free time to get out of that damn store.
I worked on filling the wildflower displays, organizing the soap and candle displayed, and sweeping the floors in preparation for closing. Tonight, I wanted to sit inside and write. The passion was at an all-time high after the conversationwith Parker because he was right. If I had enough to show my parents, maybe they would get on board with my dreams too.
Boone
It was a fucking scorcher today; the sun was relentless without a cloud in the sky to break it up. I ditched the shirt early this morning, and I was getting sunburnt. Rhodes and Logan were with me today, cleaning up the unused pasture to introduce more livestock. We were expecting to get a new set of cattle and had to free up more space. It was nice having these two by my side today, because on a typical day, we aren’t on the same task. I needed all the muscle and reinforcements I could get to finish this project.
“Have you heard from your sister?” Logan asked, taking a drink of tea from his jug.
“Yeah, last weekend she called me for the first time since she left,” I said, realizing I hadn’t told Rhodes or Logan I heard from her. They both don’t know the real story, just the bare details. No one knows the truth of it besides my parents and Aspen.
“And you didn’t tell us?” Logan asked, offended.
“I haven’t seen you guys since I heard from her; what’s the deal?” I replied; his tone was throwing me for a loop. Logan rolled his eyes and looked away, throwing a temper tantrum. I looked over to Rhodes for help to back me up.
“I bet he told Aspen,” Rhodes mocked. That wasn’t much fucking help it made things worse. My friends were ganging up on me, throwing punches I didn’t know they had.
“Woah, okay, let’s take a step back,” I said, putting my hands up in mock surrender. “What the hell is going on with you two?”
Logan scoffed, clearly pissed off, so Rhodes spoke. “I want you to come clean about your relationship with her. I’ve been asked so many damn questions, man, and I can’t answer any of them. Do you know how it feels to have some random person in town know more about you than I do?”
Fuck, that one hit hard. Talk about a sucker punch I wasn’t expecting. The last time Rhodes and I talked about the whole Aspen thing, I swore we were friends. By now, it had to be around town about our very public date and also very public affection. Also, I knew I got a little handsy at the rodeo.
In all honesty, I didn’t have much time to think about anyone else but her. Since the farmers market, I’d been straight-up infatuated with that woman. I’d do anything to spend more time with her, even if it was under the umbrella of our fake dates.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about that,” I said, genuinely caught up. “It isn’t what you think.” I didn’t know how to tell them without revealing the whole truth, but I still had to convince them to be on my side. “I’m helping her with a project. We’re going on fake dates and she’s using it as help to write a story.” I left out the part about her parents, that may be a little too much.
Logan was still silent, making me wonder if he was bothered about something else. I extended my legs in front of me, using my arms to support my weight. Rhodes said, “Come on, Boone. You gotta be honest with yourself.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“It’s more than just ‘fake dates’. I’ve seen you two together enough to know there’s something more. I hope you’re just too blind to see it and not holding back for my sake.” Rhodes said. Did he think I was keeping my feelings for Aspen a secret so I wouldn’t hurt him after what happened with Jess? Rhodes was making this about him. In reality, it was a “me problem.”