Aspen: I have some free time today. I’ll come over this afternoon. Love you.
I tucked my phone back under my thigh and resumed the conversation with Boone and his family. When the talking subsided, I helped gather up the dishes and brought them into the kitchen. I turned on the water in the sink and squeezed soap over everything.
“Oh honey, don’t worry about that! Dan can just throw it all in the dishwasher!” Jill said from behind me.
“Are you sure?” I asked, leaving the water running to get warm.
Jill turned off the faucet, “Yes! Give that man a chore around the house.” Her soft voice carried in the kitchen. “I think Boone’s waiting for you in the foyer.” I followed the direction of her nod.
Boone looked so good. He was staring down at his phone, texting someone which gave me a few moments to soak in the man before me. The slope of his nose, the chiseled jaw and rounded biceps. To me, he was perfect.
Saying my goodbyes, I met Boone at the front door. When I came into view, he locked his phone and smiled at me. He opened the door, holding it so I could walk through. Boone and I made the walk back to the cabins in silence. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. It was nice to be able to exist and not feel the need or urge to fill every void. I spent this time reflecting, thinking about what I’d tell my parents when they’d inevitably ask what my next steps were or if I planned on staying at the stand forever. Would I finally stick up for myself and tell them I wanted to be an author? Or did I make up a bogus story about going to school? I knew the former wasn’t even an option. The anxiety I got when thinking about having this conversation turned my gut into knots.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Boone said, finally breaking the silence.
“Nothing!” I said, putting on a fake cheerful persona. “I’m just thinking about how good your mom’s casserole was. Where did she learn the recipe?”
That was a good enough answer for Boone, because he didn’t press for more information. “One morning she got sick and tired of everyone demanding something different and just threw all of it in a pan. It’s been a signature dish since I was a boy. She hasn’t shared the recipe with anyone. I think it’s her way of making sure we still come around as we get older.”
How fucking sweet was that? I didn’t even know what to say in response, because that’s the kind of thing you hear in the movies.
Before I went to my parents, I knew I needed a breather. It’s like preparing for a marathon or an important exam. I had tomemorize my answers to questions I knew they would ask, so I could get through without causing a fight.
When we got to the cabins, I dragged myself inside to reluctantly get ready. For them, I’d get dressed and put some makeup on. I felt much better than I did this morning. The coffee and food cured my hangover enough for me to function like a normal human for the rest of the day. When I was ready, I gathered my purse and sulked to my car, preparing to give the best performance of my life.
* * *
My parents still lived locally in my childhood home. Since the ranch was outside of town, it took me a little longer to get there from where my apartment was prior. When I pulled in, everything still looked the same. The little white rancher sat on an acre of wooded land. Our driveway was long enough that you couldn’t see the house from the road, which added to its appeal. Putting my car in park, I headed to the front door. I didn’t knock. Instead, I let myself in.
I heard the TV in the living room blaring some mid-day soap. Most of the time, my mom watched television while my dad did his Sudoku puzzles on the couch. My parents were definitely homebodies.
“Oh! Our beautiful daughter!” Mom said, pausing her show and standing to greet me. I placed my purse down on the couch and gave her a hug.
“That’s me!” I said, holding her tight. Squeezing her, I take an inhale of her signature perfume. She smelt like jasmine and orange blossom, accented with a splash of sandalwood. There wasn’t a day when she didn’t put it on first thing in the morning.
“What about me?” My dad said, standing up and coming towards us. I hugged him next as he nearly suffocated me and kissed my temple.
“Why don’t we go sit out back? I have some lemonade and snacks in the fridge. You two go, I’ll be there in a minute.” Mom shooed us away from the living room.
I loved sitting outside when I lived at home. I mean, I still did love spending time outside. The peacefulness that you felt when there was nothing besides the sound of the trees rustling in the wind and birds chirping a pretty tune. I took a seat at the head of the patio table, admiring the outdoor scenery. The yard was relatively big and surrounded by trees, not a neighbor in sight. My dad occupied the seat next to me, waiting for my mom to come out before starting any conversation. It didn’t take her long to have all the goodies gathered and spread on the table.
Parker and I both take after our mom in looks. We shared her blonde hair but stole my dad’s blue eyes. My dad’s hair was black as night with gray streaks appearing as he aged. Both of my parents were shorter, which made everyone in town question where Parker got his height. He towers well over six feet.
“So, tell us how the farm stand is going. The ladies I play dominos with are raving about you and what you’ve done,” my mom said.
Taking a long pull of lemonade, I responded, “It’s going great!” Sounding more excited than I wanted. “I’m adding a lot of products and different aspects that I’m excited about. The hours are nice, and the Cassidys have given me full control to do what I want.”
“That’s great, sweetie,” my dad chimed in. “It sounds like a great place to help you transition into something bigger.”
There it was. It took less time than I thought before he started dropping his hints of me needing to be more or do more. I knew what he meant by his comment. He can’t trick me. My mom nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, well, I’m happy there. Plus, I love the cabin. It feels like home more than my apartment did,” I replied. That’s thetruth too. I loved the cabin. Living in town was too much, but being on the ranch, I was in my element.
“It may be time to start exploring options for a real job,” my mom added, taking a bite of her cheese and cracker.
If only they knew what I wanted as my “real job.” My parents wanted me to go to college and get into tech or the medical field. Their dream for me was to move into the city and establish a life that provided me with everything I could ever want. My parents never wanted me to wish for anything, which I can understand. Yet, I wished they were more receptive tomygoals or dreams. They saw me with a stable income, a home, and a loving husband. Right now, I had none of those. I was twenty-five, which puts me in that awkward stage where some of my friends are getting married, some are having kids, and some are still discovering who they are. I fell into the last category. Even though I knew what I wanted, my problem was that I doubted my abilities and was unsure where to start. I’d been putting off taking the leap for a while now. Coming to see my parents this time, in conjunction with everything else that had happened, was a wake-up call that I needed to take the plunge into writing.
“Right,” I said flatly. “I have a plan. You two don’t have to worry about me. Ellie will be back soon, and when she is, I’ll be going onto bigger things.” Lie. I was a filthy liar. I had no idea when Ellie would be back, nor did I know my fate when she returned.