Page 74 of The Christmas Cookie Crush

Austin kisses me deeply,one arm cinching around my waist and holding me tightly against him, the other arm still cradling my head. When he holds me like this I feel … safe. Warm.

Loved.

It’s too early for that. I know it’s too early. I won’t say the words. Not out loud.

But I can show him how deep my feelings for him run. Because I know that’s a big part of what’s behind the depth of his hurt. He felt like he was the only one who wanted a future together. Like I gave up at the first sign of difficulty.

He wasn’t wrong. Not exactly. I wasn’t ready to give up, but I certainly wasn’t all in either. Not like he was.

But now that I know I’ll be coming back to Arcadian Falls, that coming back here is something I want, not something I don’t have a choice about, and not something I’m doing to make someone else happy, I’m open to the possibilities.

It’s way too early to know if we’ll be able to last through the long-distance period that we have to get through. Or once that’s over, how we’ll deal with being able to see each other daily again.

Some part of me worries that what I said to Dylan is right. Maybe a long-distance relationship is the only kind I can handle.

But if my time with Austin is anything to go by, I don’t think that’s true. Seeing him every day was the highlight, not a burden, even while we only had snatches of time that we had to carve out of busy schedules. He was ready and willing to keep that up. To keep figuring out how to make time for one another despite whatever constraints were in the way.

I owe him the same thing.

And I need to show him that I’m all in.

“Where’s your bedroom?” I ask.

His eyes widen in surprise, and he looks around like he expects his grandparents to jump out of the closet or something. But we’re alone. They left to give us space. I’m not sure what he told them or how much they know, but they clearly knew we had something to work through.

Lips curling in a wicked grin, he steps back, reaching down to adjust himself. I smile at the sight. It’s silly, and would probably be embarrassing in other circumstances, but I like knowing that I can make him hard so easily. That he finds me that attractive.

It’s hot.

Lacing his fingers through mine, he leads me down the hall to his room. Once inside, he closes the door behind us, leaning back against it for a second, his eyes roaming up and down my body.

Trying to play it casual, I take off my coat, draping it over the ladderback chair at the old-fashioned secretary desk in the corner. That’s when I take the time to look around at all the photos on the wall, the old-fashioned daybed with its yellow, pink, and purple floral print comforter and matching pillow shams, and the lamp that looks like something in my own grandparents’ house.

There’s very little of Austin in this room. It’s neat and tidy with only a few items lying out—a sketch pad and pencil on the desk next to his laptop, a charging cable lying across the nightstand, and a blue flannel shirt draped over the foot of the bed—that indicate he’s the occupant of this time capsule of a guest room.

When I meet his eyes again, he grins. “I never thought I’d have you here in this room.”

Laughing, I run my hand over the shiny gold-plated bed frame. “I can see why.”

He shrugs, pushing off from the door and reaching for me. “It’s a room. It’s free. I can’t complain.”

I loop my arms over his shoulders, and his hands rest on my hips, his fingers finding their way under my sweater, though the cami I’m wearing keeps him from getting to my skin.

He makes a disgruntled face that has me laughing. “What’s that look?”

“You’re always wearing so many layers. I just want to touch your skin.”

“That’s ‘cause it’s winter. It’s cold out. I don’t like being cold.”

He bunches up the cami, tugging the fabric up and out of the way, and sighs with relief when his palms rest against my bare sides. “There. That’s better.”

“You could just take it off, you know,” I whisper, kissing the corner of his mouth.

He rumbles agreement. “That’s true.”

And then my sweater is up, covering my face, and I’m laughing with surprise and joy, grateful that we’re so quickly returning to our equilibrium. When I’m free of the sweater, he’s smiling at me, his eyes warm with affection and a deeper emotion we’re not naming yet.

Too soon, I remind myself.Too soon.

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