Page 67 of The Christmas Cookie Crush

“Oh, Mom.” I wrap my arms around her, and she laughs, though I can hear the tears in her voice. “You still have Sarah.”

“Not the same,” she says, her voice hoarse as she wraps her arms around me and pats my back again. “It’s not the same, and we all know it. She hasn’t been an elf in years, and she’s too busy with the store to even fill in occasionally.”

“True. But what about Sophie? I know she’s too young now, but in a few more years …”

Mom nods, considering that. “True. But that’s still a few years without any of my family in the elf crew. I’m allowed to be sad.”

“Yeah.” The word scrapes over my vocal cords. “Yeah, you are.”

“And you’re allowed to be sad, too,” she whispers. “Just know that it’ll pass.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“I love you,” she says, patting me once more before releasing me.

“I love you, too.”

I feel a little better after talking to my mom, even if Dylan still thinks I’m some kind of stupid airhead. But I think he’s an arrogant asshole, so I guess we’re even.

My parents don’t think I’m an idiot. They’re confident I’ll figure out what to do with myself. And knowing that puts their questions in a new light. They’re not asking to try to trip me up or catch me out. They just … want to know. They want to hear my plans. They want me to come to them if I have questions or want input. Not to control me or make me feel stupid, but to benefit from their experience. And also because they love me and want to know what I’m doing.

It’s an odd sense of relief, actually, even if I’m still really sad about Austin.

I manage to get through our family’s Christmas Eve traditions—finding the pickle and opening the PJs Mom gets us all every year, now including all the additions to the family. It’s even louder and more boisterous than it was growing up, especially with Sophie in the mix.

The only thing I’d change if I could would be to have Austin here. But it’s my fault that’s not possible.

I told him I was having doubts, that I didn’t think we should try a long-distance relationship, and he had the only sensible response. To end things now.

I’d have done the same thing in his place. That doesn’t make it any easier, though.

Sarah, Shane, and Sophie stay the night so we can all wake up and do Christmas morning together.

“Sophie can stay in my room with me,” I offer when Sarah and Shane send her off to change and brush her teeth. “That way, you guys can have some privacy.”

They exchange a look, then Sarah meets my eyes. “You don’t mind? For real?”

“Nah. Soph’s a cool kid. It’ll be like a slumber party.” Plus, it’ll be a distraction for me.

Shane grins. “I’ll ask her when she’s out.”

After she’s changed into her new Christmas PJs and has her teeth brushed, Shane relays my offer, and she jumps up and down excitedly and launches herself into my arms. “Yes! Thank you, Nora! This’ll be so fun!”

Patting her back, I return her hug, my smile unforced but not as big as it should be under the circumstances. I’m already second-guessing my decision because part of me just wants to be alone to wallow in my sadness. But the other part of me thinks having Sophie around will be a good distraction. I guess the second part is winning. There’ll be plenty of time for wallowing later, after all. Tomorrow will be full of family activities, though there’ll be plenty of downtime in between presents and breakfast and the big meal later in the day. We usually play card games or board games, but that happens after dinner. And while my help will be expected off and on, I won’t have to sit and be a part of all the hustle and bustle every second if I don’t want to, especially with the size of the crowd we command now that everyone but me is partnered up.

That thought sends a pang through me, but I quickly push it aside. Just because things can’t work with Austin doesn’t mean they can’t work with someone else at some point, right?

Right.

No matter what Dylan thinks of my relationship history.

I get myself ready for bed while Sarah and Shane move the air mattress from their room to mine. When I come back to my room, Shane’s sitting on the floor talking to Sophie, who has her favorite stuffy tucked against her chest.

Shane glances up at me as I edge past the air mattress. “I’ll get out of your hair now. Don’t keep Nora up too late, okay?”

“Okay, Shane,” she says, reaching for him and giving him a hug, then snuggling back into the blankets, a big grin on her face. She looks like she’s vibrating with excitement and barely holding herself back from squealing.

“Come get me if you need anything,” he says to me.

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