Page 57 of The Christmas Cookie Crush

He shrugs a shoulder. “I know where my life is going. What I want. I have a plan. What do you have?”

More spluttering because I certainly don’t have an answer. “Time,” I finally hiss. “I have time. Time to figure it out. And I certainly don’t have to justify my decisions to you.”

His face seems to soften. “Look, Nora, I know Mom and Dad and everyone else have been after you about your plans after you graduate. And that’s not what I’m trying to do here.” He holds up his hands when I give him a doubtful look. “I swear I’m not. I’m just worried about you. And Austin.” He pauses, seeming to roll the words around in his mouth, tasting them before saying them out loud. “I think we can both agree you don’t have the best track record when it comes to dating,” he says slowly.

Pushing back from the table, I cross my arms. “What’sthatsupposed to mean?”

He turns his hand palm up on the table. “C’mon, Nor. You know exactly what it means. You date guys for a few weeks or a month or two, and then you dump them. You’re the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. You’ve never been known for your ability to follow through or be reliable.” My jaw clenches so hard it hurts, and I grip the table, my fingernails digging in. Dylan either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care because he keeps talking. “You’ve always bailed last minute on shifts at the store and ChristmasFest.”

“Not anymore,” I spit out, unwilling to listen to him tell me how shit I am without getting in some kind of defense, even if I know he won’t care.

“Okay.” He nods like he’s grudgingly conceding the point. “Good. I’m glad you’re finally stepping up.”

The “Ha!” bursts out of me before I can stop it, but he just gives me a pitying look.

“Even if you’re finally growing up?—”

“Finally?”I repeat in a sarcastic mutter, but he ignores me.

—“what’s going to happen in a week or two? You’ll be gone, back to school, taking your time to figure out what comes next—which you should do!” He throws that in as though to forestall a protest from me, holding his hands up like he’s defending himself. “You should absolutely take your time and figure out what you want to do with yourself once you’re done with school.” He lowers his hands down to the table again. “But Austin’s staying in Arcadian Falls. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you always talked about getting out of here. You were gonna leave and not come back.”

“I always planned to visit,” I grumble.

He gives me acut the craplook. “Visiting isn’t the same as living here. And you and I both know it.”

My thoughts swirl with all the different possibilities that have been cropping up over the last six months or so, especially the ones that have been pushing themselves to the forefront since I started dating Austin. “It’s true that I wanted to leave Arcadian Falls for college. Sarah was the only one of us who never wanted that. She’s been working toward taking over the store since she was in high school and it became clear that Ty had no desire to do that.” I spread my hands palms up. “But it wasn’t because I hate it here. I just didn’t see anything for me here. But we both know it was always an option for me to come back after I graduate. That’s basically been the Plan B the whole time.”

Dylan raises a doubtful eyebrow, once again leaning forward with his forearms on the table. “And you’d be happy with that? Taking Plan B for your whole life?”

I smirk. “It sounds like you’re talking about the morning-after pill.”

He doesn’t smile back, though, instead glossing over my attempt at lightening the moment. “I’m serious, Nora. Would that really make you happy?” He presses his lips together, studying me for a beat and taking a deep breath before continuing. “I know you like Austin. I can tell. And that’s why you need to think about what’s best for him, not just what feels good for you right now. His future is here. Is that really what you want for your life? To be stuck in Arcadian Falls forever?”

Frustrated, I pull my hands off the table and clench them in my lap. It feels like nothing I say matters to Dylan. According to him, I’m still just a flaky teenager who apparently leads guys on and breaks their hearts. “You don’t understand,” I grit out.

“Don’t I?” He spreads his hands again. “I met Lydia here last year, remember?”

I throw up my hands. “Then I don’t get it. You of all people should support me! I know you feel possessive of Austin, but you can’t seriously be that upset about me dating your childhood best friend. You guys lost touch years ago!”

Shaking his head, he gives me a pitying look. “It’s still different, Nora. You and I are different people.”

“Still,” I insist. “It’s notthatdifferent. And you had a long-distance relationship with Lydia.”

“Which is why Iknowhow hard it is.” Leaning forward, he punctuates his words by jabbing a finger into the table. “And with Lydia, I knew it was going to be temporary. She was getting things figured out. That’s why she came to Arcadian Falls in the first place. She never planned to stay here permanently. It was always temporary. And we knew before I left that she’d be coming back to Seattle for the next semester. That made itpossible to get through. And say what you want about how much you’ve changed, Iknowyou, Nora. I know what you’re like. Is that really what you want? A long-distance relationship with no end in sight? You have trouble dating a guy on the same campus for more than six months!”

His words sting, a thousand tiny flails that bite into my skin. “Maybe a long-distance relationship would be perfect for me then.” It comes out sounding pouty and petulant, but I don’t have a better comeback. It’s true that I haven’t had a relationship last longer than six months or so. But none of those guys were worth staying in a relationship with for longer than that. I shouldn’t have stayed with some of them as long as I did! But trying to explain that will only make Dylan think I’m proving his point. That I don’t know how to pick a good guy. So maybe I’m picking a wrong guy again? Or maybe his point is that I’m the common denominator. I’m the reason men are terrible to me …

My jaw clenches at that thought. I’mnotthe reason those guys ended up being assholes. I just didn’t know how to recognize the red flags at the beginning. And I’ve spent a lot of time since my last breakup examining the things all those assholes have in common. Some of them just weren’t good fits, and those were the guys that I let go of after a few dates. The ones that stuck around … well, they all seemed nice in the beginning, but after a few months, they stopped making efforts.

Standing, Dylan drains the rest of his coffee and takes his mug to the sink. “I’m just saying, Nora. You gotta think about what’s best. For you and for Austin.”

With that, he leaves me to finish my breakfast, though what I’ve eaten so far sits like a lead ball in my stomach.

I take one last sip of my coffee, swallowing it along with the acid rising in my throat, then dump the rest in the sink and toss the remains of my sandwich.

Dylan’s wrong, though. Hedoesn’tknow me. Not really. Not the way he thinks. And he doesn’t know what’s best for me. Or for Austin.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

---