Page 95 of Light My Fire

You deserve to celebrate.

Is your friend a guy? Someone you want to date?

Never mind. That’s none of my business. You deserve everything you want, Brooke. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out.

I can’t stop thinking about last weekend. You felt so good in my arms.

That makes me sigh. This is hard. Too hard.

Wyatt is jealous because I mentioned a friend. If he feels this way over a total stranger, how would he feel if I dated Jackson? Or Luke?

Yet at the same time, it reminds me of how safe and cared for I felt with him. How gentle and understanding he was. Patient as he introduced me to sex. I could imagine myself waking up with Wyatt every morning, knowing I was loved. Feeling safe and secure and happy.

Jackson’s texts are playful, flirty. Like him.

This cabin isn’t the same without you. Especially the hot tub. And my bed.

Henley thinks you need to come visit us in Chicago. Vets still make house calls, right?

Being with Jackson is like the ultimate escape from reality. It’s just laughter and orgasms. Which could be very, very addictive.

Luke’s next few texts have pulled back. His wall seems to be back in place.

Enjoy your night out.

I think I’m going to take the one female puppy. Five puppies are too much for Jackson long term.

Reserved, cautious.

But then his last text just about undoes me.

I named her Angel.

It’s just like him to not overtly flirt but to come in with the most powerful text of all—he’s reminding me of the nickname he gave me. He wants the puppy he named after me.

Does that mean he wants me?

Luke may think he’s rough and gruff but underneath that mask is a man who’s been hurt and who continues to hurt because he won’t allow himself to love another woman.

A part of me wants to be that woman.

Because I know for a fact he’s loyal, and if that wall comes down, I imagine he’d love fiercely and intensely.

It would be incredible to have that kind of love.

I slump down onto my couch, biting my lip.

Without warning, I’m crying.

This is too much.

I can’t casually text any of them, knowing this isn’t going anywhere.

Knowing thiscan’tgo anywhere.

Which is my choice. And my reaction right now confirms why I shouldn’t be dating any or all three of them—it’s overwhelming and I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m about to move and start my clinical rotation.

Casual flirting via text feels a little masochistic.

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