Page 98 of Lunar Crest University

“I don’t want you to.”

I scoff. “It’s always about what you want.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit.”

“Then why?” I cry out, twisting fully in my seat as I put my hand against the dashboard for leverage. My chest is heaving. “Why don’t you want me to leave?”

“Because Icareabout you!”

Rolling my lips between my teeth, I ease back into the seat and wrap my arms around myself. The trees are whizzing by now at the rate he’s speeding. A skeptical hum escapes my chest, like a cherry on top of the cake. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t trying to rile him, get something,anythingout of him. I don’t know why I want him to admit it so badly, but I do.

I need to hear it.

Even though it’ll break me more.

He mimics my hum immediately. “What? What does that mean?”

“Nothing.”

“This isn’t exactly a conversation I wanted to have while I’m driving,” he grumbles. “I can’t look at you. I can’t focus.”

“It’s okay,” I say.

Luca yanks the steering wheel suddenly, abruptly diverting us toward the side of the road, and the tires squeal against the asphalt. One of my hands braces against the door while the other reaches out and grips onto his jacket as I gasp. When the car joltsto a stop, I slowly turn my head to look at him, my eyes wide. He turns toward me with a panic I’ve never seen before.

“It’s not okay,” he pants. “What I did wasn’t okay. Keeping the truth from you wasn’t okay. Unloading all of it at once on you wasn’t okay. I’m sorry I overwhelmed you with all of this. I’m sorry I practically kidnapped you and made it impossible for you to get away when you needed it. I’msorry.”

My chin wobbles, and my nostrils flare as I try to compose myself.

“I’m so used to my life being structured.” I sniffle. “This is the complete opposite, and I have no idea what I’m doing. I know what you did came from a good place, but it’ssomuch to process. I don’t know how to process it. So, I just feel…”

“You want me to apologize for killing them,” he states simply before shrugging. “But I won’t. I’d do it again. I’ll kill every person on this planet if it means you’ll be safe. You’re the only thing I care about, so if I have to light a fucking match and watch the world burn at our feet to protect you—then so be it.”

I want to speak, but I’m afraid all that’ll come out are uncontrollable sobs. He grabs my hand that is still gripping his jacket, tugging it free as he brings it to his scruffy cheek. A whimper manages to escape as he leans into my palm.

“It’s going to be okay,amor,” he coos.

My fractured heart swells.

“Say that again,” I plead through tears.

He cocks his head sympathetically before he reaches out to wrap his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me to his chest. “Oh, Finley. Everything will be okay. You just have to trust me.”

My body melts into him as my sobs consume me, and my fingers fist his shirt as I fall apart in his arms. I’m a snotty, gasping mess, but I can’t stop. It’s like all the stress, all the hurt over the past few days is rearing its ugly head in the form of tearsand hyperventilation. The one person I should hate is the only person who can make me feel better. His kisses along the top of my head, his gentle shushing—it’s what I needed. It’s easing that ache in my chest that feels like a gaping hole.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he promises in my ear.

“I’m so mad at you,” I croak. “Somad, Luca.”

He holds me tighter. “I know, baby. I know you are.”

I bare my soul in the form of tears, snot, and makeup smeared all over his clothes, but he doesn’t seem to care in the slightest. His arms envelop me like a cage, and I allow it. We sit here for what feels like forever, but I can’t bring myself to move. I’m scared that if I move, the bubble will burst. Another shoe will drop.

I cling onto this moment as tightly as I’m white-knuckling his shirt, ignoring the dreadful fact that giving into him, that giving my heart hope for us, might just make everything hurt worse in the end.

Chapter Thirty-Six

LUCA

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