Page 120 of Lunar Crest University

Taking Finley’s hand in mine, I rub what I can of her knuckles. She has so many IVs in, it’s hard to hold much of anything. Bringing it up to my lips, I press a kiss to her warm skin.

“Open your eyes.”

It comes out in a whisper, mostly to myself, but I’m hoping she can hear me anyway.

“Doc said your body has been through a lot. Said it might be a while before you wake up.” The backs of my eyes burn as I speak. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I should’ve been there.”

Pressing my forehead into her palm, I splay her fingers out into my hair and close my eyes. For a second, it feels good, but then the reminder sinks back in. With a deep breath, I pull away, sitting with my back against the chair now.

“Levi told me everything.” I sniff and realize my nose is runny. Frowning, I look down at my hands in my lap. “He told me everything that happened and… You’re so brave, Finley. I’m so proud of you.”

It wasn’t easy to hear what Javier made Levi do to her, made them suffer through. I know her, and I know she would take all the torture for herself if it meant he would be safe. She’d risk her life for the people she loves, just as I would. We’re two sides of the same coin when it comes to family.

“I really need you to wake up. Open your eyes.” I swipe at my cheek with my shoulder because… Why the fuck am I crying? It’s annoying how my hard exterior crumbles when it comes to her. It always has been. She makes me soft. Everything melts inside me, andfuck.I guess I cry now. “Need to see those green eyes again. I miss them. Just so I know you’re okay. I need to hear your voice. See you smile. I just… Can you just wake up?”

And cue the anger.

Tears always piss me off.

“I’m free now,” I whisper, sliding a palm down my face as I lean forward again. “Just like you wanted.Wewanted.”

The monitors next to her bedside beep, and it’s like the cherry on top of the cake. I can’t keep jabbering on like this, not even knowing if she can hear a word I say. Everything is on a loop every night: talking to myself, listening to her sleep, and the monitors beeping. All. Night. Long. It’s driving me fucking crazy.

“How am I supposed to feel free when you’re not awake to share it with me?” I grumble. “How can I really feel it without you?”

I can’t. She got me here.

I press my face into her hand again, and this time, I leave it there. My shoulders shake as my sobs consume me whole, and I can’t fight them off even if I try. There isn’t one singular moment in my life I can remember crying like this. I’m too angry to cry, too proud. But the woman I love is lying in a hospital bed with injuries she should’ve never gotten, all because of me, and I’m fuckingsad.Seeing her like this makes me sad.

I’ve put Finley through so much without even so much as lifting a finger. Just by knowing me, I’ve ruined her life. Loving me nearly fucking ended it.

The soft spot she created says she’s too good for me, but I’m too selfish to ever let her go. She deserves so much more thanwhat I can give her, more than what this world can give her. She’s just so…good. What if she wakes up and realizes it too?

What if she wakes up and realizes she deserves more than me?

Chapter Forty-Six

FINLEY

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 28TH, 2023

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Weakly pushing open my eyelids, which feel as heavy as bricks, I squint at the bright lamp in the corner that makes my eyes sting slightly. My surroundings are blurred, and all I can make out is a fuzzy haze as I blink profusely.

Is my vision going tostaylike this?

A searing pain rips through my abdomen, distracting me from my eyesight and reminding me of what happened. Just the recollection of the stabbings and the fire and the smoke makes my blood pressure rise. My subconscious had tried its best to convince me that it was all a horrible dream, but the pain, the needles in my arms, the pulse oximeter on my finger, and the tubes in my nose—they’re all just a reminder that everything is real.

Where is Luca? Where is Levi?Javier?

My eyes finally adjust to the light as I slowly look around the room, a humongous sigh of relief leaving my chest as I see Luca slumped down in the seat next to my bed, sleeping. Warmthfloods me to see he’s okay,alive, sitting only a foot away from me. My hand shakes as I try to reach for him, but I’m hooked up to so many tubes that my strength runs out just trying to fight against them, and my hand limply falls back to my side.

“Luca,” I croak out, immediately wincing as the burning sensation rips through my throat like wildfire. My mouth is so dry, my saliva feels like thick cotton.

He grimaces faintly, groaning as he slowly opens his eyes. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he blinks steadily as he tries to adjust to being awoken from his slumber. Those dark eyes lift to look at me, widening immediately as he scrambles from the chair and takes my face gently in his hands, as if I could break at the slightest movement.

“You’re awake,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to my forehead, my nose, my cheeks. He peppers quick kisses all over my face.

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