Page 25 of Snowed In

“Last summer… he met some guys and apparently they’re who were right for him. He lives with them now. They’re talking babies and shit. I just… So I met fucking Jason, who looks stupidly like Roux and had been sleeping with him, trying to use him as both a replacement and maybe a means to get over Roux. Besides his appearance, he’snothinglike Roux. I invited him on this trip as kind of a last indulgence before I forced myself to stop being pathetic and move on. But fucking Jason canceled, while I was at the airport. So here I am. Alone and pathetic.”

“I understand that feeling,” I say, “and I know this is going to be hard to believe right now, but that’s Roux’s loss, Gabe.”

“I’m just so fucking tired of falling for the wrong man,” he says, and I can hear the defeat in his voice. The sorrow and solitude. The loneliness.

“Everyone,everyone, told me not to get involved with Bernice. They literally laid out exactly what she was going to do years ago. I didn’t listen. And somehow, I was still devastated when she told me she never loved me. That, in fact, she can’t stand to look at me. Believe me, I know what it’s like to love the wrong person.”

“Roux isn’t a bad person,” Gabe says. “I know he wasn’t at all malicious in his actions with me. He emphasized over and over that what we had was just… a distraction. He asked me if I understood that so many times I couldn’t tell you if I was still comfortable with the arrangement. But I’d convinced myself that all I needed was more time with him and eventually he’d fall in love with me, too. I wanted something that was never going to be there. I fooled myself that Roux would change his mind when he was fucking honest with me from the start. He kept trying to give me an out. Sometimes he’d even cancel something we planned becausehe knewI was into it far more than he was, and I’d convince him it was fine. I was fine. I understood.”

Feeling someone else’s pain is very strange. Maybe it’s because I’m literally inside his body right now, because I swear, I can actuallyfeelhow wrecked he is over this Roux guy. I roll him over and hug him tightly under me, wrapping my arms around him like a straitjacket.

Gabe gasps, his eyes squeezing closed. I can see moisture there.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, pressing kisses to his cheek, his jaw, his hairline. “I wish I could take this pain away from you.”

The saying that misery loves company is a complete crock of shit. I would much rather be the miserable one right now if I could take Gabe’s heartache away. I hate how I can feel him shake. How upset he is.

It’s clear he’s tried to hide it, to bury it and hope it goes away. I’m not sure he’s even allowed himself to admit it until this point.

I grip him tightly as he tries not to cry. His breaths are watery and wobbly. I press my face to his, keep him wrapped in my arms and try to hold his broken pieces in place. Press my cock as deep into his small hole as I can, just so he feels me everywhere. Knows I’m right here. I feel him. I will keep him in my arms until he can breathe on his own again.

“Sorry,” he whispers.

Nipping his jaw, I shake my head. “What do you need? Tell me. Anything.”

“Just… make me forget.”

Yeah… okay. As if he knows I’m not entirely sure how to do that, he clenches his ass around my cock and I groan. My hips move on their own, small rocks. And then the heat between us flares all over again.

I take him for what feels like hours, just like this. Never letting him move or take a deep breath. I don’t let him do anything but feel the way I invade his body. Pressing my dick deeply into him, trying for deeper with each thrust.

By the time he comes, I’m nearly asleep. My orgasm pushes me over and I’m slightly aware that condoms aren’t meant to be used twice. But at this point, I’ve fucked us both into oblivion and the high emotions in combination with endless sex have us both passing out in exhaustion.

This time when I wake up, my first thought isn’t that I’m alone. It’s that I’m not alone. Gabe isn’t under me anymore and I’m very disappointed that I’m no longer inside his body. However, it’s also a good thing because the condom is still partially on my dick and has definitely seen better days.

I head into the bathroom to clean up and then tend to the fires before climbing back into bed. Gabe is sleeping. He looks… peaceful. I hope that somehow I helped last night. Helped to make him feel better. I’m not sure that’s actually a thing, but I truly hope it is.

Unable to stop myself, I rest my hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. It’s steady. Calm. Hypnotic in rhythm. I let my hand dip lower, but not completely to where I want to touch since he’s asleep and I don’t have permission to touch him in his sleep.

It’s hard to remember that we’re still pretty much strangers. With the things we’ve shared, it doesn’t feel that way. I think we’ve bared pieces of our souls to each other that haven’t ever seen the light of day. I know I have. The media sees what it wants and Bernice was always ready to talk to them, but I’m rather private. I keep my private life to myself, which was admittedly difficult with Bernice, who always wanted to be in the spotlight.

Gabe sighs. His hand covers mine and he pushes it down to his dick. There’s a smile on his face, though his eyes are closed.

“I can feel you wanting to touch me,” he murmurs, voice thick with sleep.

“This mean I have permission?” I ask.

“Mmhmm,” he hums, letting his hand drop to his side and giving me all the access I want.

What I want is to see what it’s like to have a dick in my mouth. I shuffle around on the bed, locating the condoms and lube because I know it’s not going to be long before I want to be in his ass again. Tight, little, perfect ass. I’ve never felt something so good. The consuming heat. The way his muscles twitch and clench around me.

It’s… maddening.

I kiss my way down his body. He tastes like sweat, dried cum, and grass. It makes me grin. I flick the tip of his cock with my tongue and he grunts. But when I pull him into my mouth, Gabe sighs. As if he’s finally home.

That is, until I start sucking on him like a lollipop. Then he’s groaning, his back arching as I suck him in all the ways I remember liking, and I focus on the way he moans and grunts.

Then I realize I could be multitasking and getting his ass ready. It’s a very interesting feeling. Not entirely unlike eating a girl and fingering her and yet, obviously entirely different. But the intent is the same, right? Does that count? Does this make me bisexual?

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