Page 40 of All Your Hate

He chuckles lightly and whispers in my ear, “This is exactly why I couldn’t leave you alone for another night. I missed how much you hate me.”

“I was quite comfortable in the closet. Maybe wake me up next time rather than touch me when I’m asleep,” I snap harshly.

“Why do you sleep in there?”

How do I explain it exactly?

“It feels safe. When…” I hesitate as I contemplate continuing. He doesn’t need to know anything about me, but maybe he’ll think twice before invading my space next time if I tell him some of my story. “When I was locked in my cell I knew that no one was touching me. I was left alone and I had time to prepare forthem, even if it was only for the few seconds it took for them to unlock the door.”

I’m glad that I can’t see Bones’ face as I spill my dark truth to him.

He’s silent for a moment and I wonder if he’s pitying me or looking at me with disgust. “I can have an actual bed made for you in the closet if that’s what you really want. It’s cramped, but I can make it work. I’d rather you feel comfortable in my bed though. You're safer with me out here than you are alone in there.”

His statement takes me by surprise and I roll back over to look at him. “I want to believe you.” My statement surprises both of us.

Is it really so wrong to want to give in to him already? It doesn’t mean I have to like him. I can just settle with what I’ve got now.

I’ve scoured this house for a way out. All the doors are locked and too thick to break through. The windows must be reinforced glass as nothing I’ve thrown at them scratches the surface. I’m trapped like a bird in his pretty little cage.

“You can always trust me. I stopped when you asked, didn't I?”

“You want a prize for doing the decent thing?” I scoff.

“I mean if you’re offering one,” he lifts his shoulder and gives me a half grin.

“Why tonight? I’ve been here for days now. You could have taken what you wanted at any point.”

“I told you, I’ve been trying to restrain myself for you.”

He thinks he’s so fucking gallant.

I laugh at the absurdity of his thinking. An actual real laugh and Bones’ eyes light up. Realizing what I’ve done, I clamp my mouth shut and pull the blanket over myself. “I’m clearly delirious from exhaustion so I’m going back to sleep.”

He doesn’t move and I’m sure he’s planning on spending the night with me whether I like it or not.

“If you plan on staying you better get used to sleeping with a light on,” I murmur into my pillow.

There’s a long quiet pause, then he quietly says, “I can do that.”

In a way, I’m glad I don’t have to spend the rest of the night alone with my nightmares. This real-life one may not be as bad as I think. He's not even touching me anymore.

When I hear Bones’ breathing even out, I sneak a look at him. One of his hands is splayed out between us like he’s been reaching for me in his sleep. I don’t understand anything I’m feeling with this man. I should be terrified of him and in a way I am, but he also makes me feel safer than I have in a long time.

Apart from keeping me here and being a jerk, he’s not been all that bad. I’ve not been drugged or forced to do anything.

I touch the marks on my neck, the tiny raised bumps from the constant injections. I’m not sure if they’ll ever disappear. If they don’t, they’ll be a constant reminder I don’t want or need.

All I want to do is forget.

When I’m close to him I do just that.

I move my hand closer to his until the tips of our fingers touch. He doesn’t stir and I take the time to really look at him.

His body is covered in tattoos and there are a few scars on his skin. He’s both deadly and beautiful at the same time. That turns me on in a sick way.

The fact that he’s lying naked next to me with an erection tenting the sheets should make my skin crawl, should make me want to hide away from him, but all I am is curious.

I want to let him in, but what if it’s a trap? What if after he gets what he wants I’ll be passed on to the next man?

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