Page 104 of All Your Hate

“No. The pain of its snap is a reminder of what I did. It helps me to stay here, to try and keep feeling.”

I had no idea he struggled like that.

We lie in comfortable silence in the warm water until Bones says, “I know about your parents.”

I sigh and dip my head. Focusing my gaze on the cuts, on the here and now. “My dad’s death felt inevitable. He struggled his entire life with drugs and alcohol. I’d lost count of how many times he promised us he would change. No matter what Mom did or said he never accepted her help. After she died I kept telling myself that if I had done things differently I could have gotten her to stay.”

Bones lightly pinches my chin and makes me look at him. “It was nothing to do with you. When a person gets to that point there’s very little you can do. When I cut myself I wasn’t thinking about how upset my father would be. I believed he’d be happy that the lasting reminder of everything he’d lost would be gone.”

Sliding my arms around him, I press my cheek to his chest. “I’m glad you stayed.”

There's a slight tremble to his body and without looking I reach up to touch his face. Giving him the comfort and privacy he needs after opening up to me.

“The water’s getting cold. Let's get you out,” he says roughly.

I try to stand up, but my legs immediately buckle. “Shit.” I wince through the pain that’s in my entire body.

Bones steadies me and helps me out of the tub, wrapping me in a huge fluffy towel.

“That feels so good.”

“Are you hungry or do you just want to sleep?”

“Sleep,” I mumble against the side of his neck as I lean against him. It’s mostly because I can’t hold my own body up, but I do enjoy the feeling of him against me.

My brain’s too fuzzy to unpack everything that happened tonight. All I want to do is sleep for a week.

Bones scoops me up and carries me out of the bathroom. He perches me on the edge of the bed to dry me off and I sway uneasily when he leaves for the bathroom again.

When he comes back I notice the cuts in the middle of his pelvis. “What happened?” He wipes the blood away and I see it’s not just a cut. He’s sliced aWinto his skin. “When did you do that?”

He gives me a dark smile and my stomach swoops. “That’s why you put the dagger in my…”

“In your tight ass? I could hardly brand you with my name and not do the same for myself.”

Laughing, I shake my head at his crazy behavior. The room spins and I have to lie down.

Bones wraps a bandage around my thigh before covering his own cut. “This’ll do for tonight. I’ll sort you out a better one tomorrow.”

I nod along not really understanding what he’s saying.

“Take these.” He opens my jaw and places two pills on my tongue then presses a glass to my lips. I gulp it all down.

“More please,” I gasp out suddenly feeling how thirsty I am. He fetches me another glass along with more pills.

I recognize the bitter taste of these ones. My supplements.

Once Bones has finished fussing over me, I turn my face into the pillows.

“So soft,” I mumble through a yawn as I stroke the sheets.

The lights dim and he gets in behind me. His cock is hard and I tense up when I hear him applying lube to himself.

I don’t know why I’m surprised he’s choosing now to fuck me. He basically told me in the bathroom he would if he wanted to. I’m just exhausted and thought he might have taken that into account.

It was stupid of me to think we could just cuddle and fall asleep together. Maybe I’ve grown too naive around him?

I’m tense as he pushes a lube-covered finger inside my pussy.

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