Page 28 of Broken Pieces

My stomach churns and I run to the stall again.

I hear my mom tapping her foot behind me as she grows impatient.

As I rinse my mouth out again, she looks at me without a trace of sympathy. “It’s about time you took my advice, you’ll lose weight fast throwing up like that.”

I bite my tongue and push past her to go find Maddox out in the hospital corridor.

Reginald is at the other end, still talking to one of the cops from earlier. He's never been one for big displays of emotion, but right now his pain is etched all over his face.

I didn't think my guilt could get any worse.

Just like before I went to the restroom, Maddox is still pacing, his eyes distant and so unlike him. The whole time I’ve known Maddox, he’s always been so full of life. Ready to cause chaos at any given moment. Now, he looks like a shell of himself.

“Maddox,” I say softly, putting my hand on his arm.

He yanks it away and looks down at me with nothing but despair in his eyes. Both my heart and my stomach drop. “Maddox, I—”

“I can’t feel him,” he says, through gritted teeth, his eyes manic. “They won’t let me see him. I need to know he’s okay! I can always feel him, Vi, he’s not there.”

I hold my hand out again to touch him and help calm him down, but he backs away shaking his head.

“I should never have let you come between us,” he says and my heart breaks again, the same way it did when the car hit Max.

“Maddox, please. We need to be here for each other, for Max when he gets out of surgery.”

He shakes his head again, but this time he lets me touch him and I lead him to a nearby chair. Hanging his head in his hands, he grips his hair tight. I place my hands over his and ease them off gently, so he doesn’t hurt himself.

“What do I do if I lose him? I don’t know how to be a person without him.” He sounds so small and broken, like he’s a little kid.

“You’re not going to lose him,” I promise him, but we both know I can’t be certain of that.

He looks up at me and his eyes start to soften. Slowly, they drift shut and his lips part like he’s about to kiss me.

Then he starts to lean in.

My whole body throbs, with each pump of blood from my erratic heart.

This is really happening.

I’ve wanted this for so long. Wantedhim.

But anyone could see us here.

My heart runs away with itself as it ignores my brain and I feel myself leaning in to meet him.

I need to feel him against my skin, taste him in my mouth. Ground myself with everything that is Maddox and therefore Max.

I don’t hear the click of heels until it’s too late.

My mom clears her throat as she stands next to us and I quickly pull away before our lips have even touched.

As I draw my hand back and pretend that nothing happened, I see the exact moment that I shatter the remaining pieces of trust between us. I'm helpless as Maddox retreats back into himself and his eyes go distant.

I didn’t mean to pull away so quickly,or did I?

It’s not like it’s normal for two stepsiblings to start making out in public. Even if it was for something as innocent as needing to help heal each other.

Maddox doesn’t stop staring at me. The hope that I gave him is gone. Now, it’s replaced with disappointment and hate.

---