Page 32 of All Your Pain

“You’re so weird,” I mutter to myself not caring if he hears me. Folding my arms over my chest, I say, “fine. I’ll play alongifI can have some clothes.”

I hold my chin up even though my knees feel weak as I look up at him. His bare chest is right in front of my face, he smells clean and come to think of it I do too. Even the sheets were clean when I woke up earlier. He must have cleaned everything up, including me, after I passed out yesterday.

Dean flicks my nose and says, “feisty, little kitten. I like it. Here, take these and I’ll find you something.” He holds out two white pills in his palm.

“I’m not—,” I start but he quickly interjects.

“They’re the painkillers you wanted. The guy at the pharmacy said to take two every four hours for general aches and pains.” He rubs the back of his head. “Not sure how many you’d need for this though.”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine. Thank you.” My fingers graze his palm as I take the pills from him and as I look up at him through my eyelashes I see the small smile creasing the corner of his mouth. Then he quickly turns away into the bedroom.

When I’m finished in the bathroom, I’m nervous to go to him. I don’t know how to handle him after last night. It’s like nothing’schanged for him buteverythinghas for me. If he’s not going to kill me then why am I even here? Just as a plaything for him? Does he want a real relationship?

What do I want?

Just yesterday I thought the answer was my freedom but whether it’s because I’m scared to be out in the world alone or I’m just scared of what Dean will do if I try to leave him again, I can’t even begin to think of planning another escape.

As soon as I walk into the bedroom, Dean tosses me a shirt and I awkwardly grab it with a yelp.

“Some warning next time, jerk,” I snap, biting back my own small smile.

The shirt smells like him even before putting it on. I tug it over my head, trying not to knock my cuts and when I look down at it I pull it outwards. “What does this even say?” I tilt my head trying to figure out the picture underneath the scrawled lettering. “Is that a skull?”

“It’s one of my favorite bands,” he shrugs as he sits crossed legged on the bed. He's also put on a similar top but judging by the logo he’s repping a different band. Guess you can judge a book by its cover. Dark and broody guy likes heavy metal. Guess I have a type now.

“Do I not get any underwear?”

“Not today,” he winks and jumps up off the bed. In one long stride, he’s wrapping his arms around my waist. “Maybe you can earn some later.”

I don’t let him get to me and make a point of rolling my eyes at him. “What shall we do today?” He starts to lean down and nip at my jaw, I arch my neck away but he just follows with his tongue.

“Shouldn’t we talk about yesterday?”

Squeezing me tighter, he sighs. “Do we have to? I thought everything was made pretty clear.”

“You’re not angry?”

“No, baby, why would I be? You took your punishment well and Iknowyou’re not going to do anything like that again.”

My mouth goes dry and I stop myself from swallowing the lump forming in my throat. It wasn’t a question but still I say, “no, I won’t.”

“Now,” he says slowly, looking at my lips. “You didn’t finish answering my question earlier.”

Right,how does it feel being cut up by a psycho?My stomach flutters at the thought and I know I can’t give him the exact truth.

“Obviously, it hurts, like an ache but it also makes my skin tingle and my heart race. I’m not sure how else to say it.” I shrug looking away from him.

“If I touch you will I find you wet?” Dean says, his voice so low and gravelly I’m forced to look back up at him. My cheeks burn and the heat spreads all the way down to between my legs.

This is the moment I should tell him no, that I hate the way it feels, but we both know exactly what my body did when he fucked me whilst I was still dripping blood yesterday.

I nod.

He leans his forehead down onto mine and says roughly, “fuck, Willow. There really must be a god for me to be able to find someone like you.”

I breathe out slowly, my mind and body both anticipating what he’ll do next. His hands all over me, the feel of his cock between my legs as he finds new ways to hurt me that I know I’ll end up enjoying.

“Want to fuck you so bad but you should at least have a day to heal. Don’t want you to think I’m an asshole.” He winks at me. “Anyway we have other plans.”

---