Page 71 of All Your Pain

Before I even open my eyes, I know exactly where I am.

The beeping of machines and the sterile smell are all too familiar.

How did I get here this time?

My brain’s foggy as I try to remember what happened. I was with Bones, there were gunshots but then I went home so the job must have gone down fine. No something else happened, we found a girl that wasn’t supposed to be in the house and Bones took her home. Then I left and drove home to Willow. I was exhausted and—

Willow.

My eyes shoot open.

I need to get to her. Make sure she's still home. That she's safe. That no one's has taken her. She could have easily run the first chance she got.

Fuck.

I need to get out of herenow.

I’m about to rip the IV tube and the rest of the wires out of my skin when I see a blanket of soft brown hair next to me on the bed.

My hand trembles as I reach for her.

Willow is here in the hospital with me.

My brain can’t piece it together.

Why is she here? Why didn’t she run?

She chose to help me rather than leave me.

I’m reluctant to wake her but I can’t stop myself from touching her and making sure she’s real, not some drug-fuelled hallucination. The soft strands of her hair fall through my fingers as I run my hands through them. She makes a tiny noise that makes my heart swell and her head turns my way. Her face is pale yet blushed with red like she’s been crying recently.

How many tears has she shed because of me by now?

Remorse tugs at my chest. I’ve put her through so much and she’s still here. I don’t deserve that but I’m damn well taking it.

The heart monitor picks up next to me and I pull the hospital gown I’ve been put in down so I can stop the incessant beeping. I tear the electrodes off my chest and yank the machine closer so I can turn it off.

“Dean?” Willow's head snaps up and she grabs my arms. “What are you doing? You need that! Just lie back down!”

“Willow, baby, this isn't my first rodeo. I don’t need any of this. Just let me get out of bed and we can get home.” My heart’s racing and sweat wets my palms.

I need to get her home,now. The longer Willow’s out in the open the more risk I have of losing her. I can’t lose her.

“Dean, you're not going anywhere.” She pushes down on my chest with her palms, I grab her wrists hard making her gasp in pain and I quickly let go.

“Shit. I’m so sorry, baby.” Then I realize she might also have been hurt. That should have been the first thing on my mind nottrying to come up with a plan to get her back to my house to lock her up with me for good. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine. You wereshot,Dean. I thought…I thought you were dead.” Tears shine in her eyes and I feel more guilt than I know how to handle. She tries to push me down and I let her. But when she turns to leave I grab her, gentler this time but still with enough force to pull her chest down onto mine.

“Don’t even think about leaving this room,” I say, one hand grabbing the back of her neck, pinning her to me.

“I was just going to get a nurse. Did you not hear me? You could have died!”

“I want you where I can see you at all times, Willow.”

She scowls at me but I don’t care if I sound like an obsessed asshole because that’s exactly what I am.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad…,” I trail off as she looks up at me, her cheek resting against my chest. I grab her shoulders and pull her up so she can lie down comfortably next to me.

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