Page 2 of All Your Pain

I take a moment before I open the door, preparing myself for the next part of tonight’s show. I’ve already given myself a black eye and have the story ready in my head to tell the cops.Someone broke in, knocked me out then tied up my foster parents. I woke up as he was raiding their bedroom and I tried to fight him but the cigarette he was smoking fell out of his mouth and the curtains caught fire. He ran and I tried to stop him but he got away and it was too late for me to save anyone.

Heat licks at my back and when I look over my shoulder I see the bright orange glow of fire right in my face.

“Shit,” I hiss as I tear my jacket off but it’s too late.

The fire has already burnt through to my skin.

I can smell my flesh burning and it’s an odd sensation to know my body is being destroyed without being even the slightest bit aware of it. I’ve always wondered if there would ever be a pain I could actually feel but that tiny bit of hope is now burning to nothing along with this house and the rest of my past.

At least now I can leave it behind in the ashes.

1

WILLOW

Izoom in on the map on my phone screen, the pin for the hostel I'm trying to find vanished a few moments ago along with my remaining data.

It’s just another addition to my list of things forhow bad can this day possibly get?

My bus was delayed getting here and now it’s almost midnight, the only thing I’ve eaten all day was a cheap sandwich at the bus station. To top it all off, it’s starting to get freezing cold and I’m lost in a sketchy part of the city.

The lightweight hoody I have on over my jeans and t-shirt does nothing to stop the chill from getting to my skin. I pull the zipper higher, up to my neck and contemplate rooting in my bag for another layer to wear but decide against it.

It's not a great time to be a woman alone in a dark alley,when is it ever?So I push on, feeling pretty sure my end destination is just up ahead. My sense of direction is terrible though and I don’t have a clue how anyone reads maps so for all I know I could be walking in the opposite direction. I have to at least tryto be optimistic. There’s no point going back the way I came, there's nothing there for me.

My phone battery is running dangerously low and the gps keeps cutting out, the whole thing will probably die on me completely any second now. I shove the useless device into the side pocket of my bag.

The sound of people talking up ahead catches my attention. Either I’m about to be murdered or my bad luck has finally ended and some nice people will point me in the right direction. If luck was really on my side then it’ll be other people staying at the hostel and I’ve actually reached my destination.

Fingers crossed for the latter or if not a swift death at least.

From the photos on the website the hostel's rooms aren’t great so I can understand why people would rather hang out outside than on the threadbare mattresses I saw. This part of the city isn’t the friendliest either, the few people I had to ask for directions when I arrived earlier really weren’t helpful.

Still, it’s better than what I had back home. I may have had a soft bed to sleep in but it wasn’t worth the price I paid for it daily.

I wonder if my Dad even cares that I’m gone or if he’s looking for me. It’s not like I just vanished completely. I left a note, albeit a brief one, that just saidI’m leaving, you won’t see or hear from me again.

What little money I had in my account I used on bus tickets and a week's stay in this hostel, the money’s gone already so I sure as hell am going to find this place, even if I have to look all night.

I’m going to have to share a room with three other people the entire time but it’s all I could afford in the city. The thought of getting to spend time with other people is both nerve-racking and exciting. I could have chosen a cheaper area to make my new roots in and spent less money on buses by staying closer to home but I wanted to be as far away from my dad as possible.

So here I am, cold, hungry and with nothing to my name but so grateful to finally have a taste of freedom.

When I reach the corner up ahead, I hear an odd, wet slapping sound followed by low groans that make me stop dead in my tracks.

Oh God, are there people having sex here?

I’ve zero experience myself and never watched porn. Dad tried to scare me away from it, with his constant insults and telling me how I’m destined to be a whore like my mother. She died before I could remember her but I do know that if any of what he said about her was true she still would have been a better parent than him.

Thanks to his years of mental abuse I’m eighteen and still a virgin. It’s not like I stayed pure because what he told me was right.

No, his attempts to bully and brainwash me were ineffective.

If I had gotten the chance to have sex with someone I would have but I never had a chance to doanything. If I wasn’t at school I was stuck alone in my room.

I should head in the opposite direction but curiosity keeps carrying my feet forward. Would people really get so horny that they’d fuck in a dingy alleyway in the freezing cold? If they are then good for them, I guess.

Adjusting my duffel bag higher on my shoulder, I poke my head around the corner. If there is someone having sex I don’t want to walk in on it and interrupt, I think I’d die of embarrassment if it was me getting caught.

---