Page 72 of Pretend for Me

Back and forth. Back and forth. I paced. Charlotte, who was sitting in one of the plastic chairs across from me, said I was making her dizzy.

Holden moved to stand and lean against the wall, and Bridget sat in the chair next to Charlie. Audrey was on her way back from getting a colony of cats neutered. She had been calling Bridget regularly for updates.

The restricted double doors buzzed open. My head flew up, my eyes wild as I looked for Dr. Torres. But it was a different doctor who went to update a different family.

I hung my head and continued my pacing.

Charlotte croaked out my name. “Cassie.”

I glanced over at my foster sister, noticing the tears streaming down her cheeks. Her body shook and she seemed unable to steady herself. I looked blankly at Charlie.

“Cassie, I need to tell you something,” Charlie admitted, her leg bouncing on the floor. Her breathing was heavy, and she bit her tongue.

I looked at her, puzzled. “Now really isn’t the time, Charlie. I need to know if … if Matthew is …” I winced, not able to finish the thought.

Holden walked toward me and squeezed my shoulder, in an effort to offer a semblance of support.

“Cassie, I’m so sorry.” Charlie stood up, looking at me with wide eyes, full of fresh tears and regret.

“What are you talking about? What are you sorry for?” I furrowed my eyebrows, confused at what Charlie was trying to apologize for. It wasn’t like she’d shot Matthew.

“I can’t believe he did it. I just told him the address. I didn’t think— He told me to make sure nobody else was there. Matthew usually runs in the morning. I thought for sure he would have been out.” Charlie wrung her hands as she spoke. “I didn’t want to ... Matthew didn’t deserve this. I'm such a bad person. I can’t believe I did this.” Charlie sobbed uncontrollably, crouching in front of me, repeatedly apologizing. “I thought he loved me.”

I got down to Charlotte’s level. “What are you saying?” I demanded, my eyes wild, looking at Charlie for confirmation of what I thought she was trying to convey.

Charlotte took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“I gave Derek … Matthew’s address.” Her voice was barely a whisper as she confessed her sin.

The room went silent, so silent that you could hear a pin drop. There was a slight intake of air from Holden, but even he sensed that he should remain as quiet as possible.

Charlotte gulped. “I didn’t think he would do something like this. I thought he’d just steal a few bucks from the safe or some expensive clothes and be done with it. I didn’t know he was going to shoot Matthew.” Charlotte sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Cassie! I’m so sorry! I love Matt?—”

I slapped Charlotte across the face before she could get the rest of Matthew’s name out. Holden moved to grab me and pull me away from Charlotte just in case I went after her.

“Don’t! Don’t you dare say his name!” I yelled, pointing my finger aggressively at the young girl. “If he dies …” I said through gritted teeth.

Matthew. Death. My mind spun. I was standing before them, but I really wasn’t.

My mind, body, and soul was lying in an operating room, fighting for his life. Because of Charlotte.

“Oh my god, Matthew can die …” I gasped, the realization making me snap out of my trance. I started to hyperventilate, my breathing becoming frantic. I lunged, still gripped in Holden’s strong arms, trying to claw free to get to Charlotte, who was now hiding behind Bridget.

“I hate you. I hate you,” I screamed as I let the tears fall freely.

Holden tightened his grip around me, as I fought against him.

“Cassie.” I heard my name being called from a distance.

I couldn’t form words to answer. I was now rocking back and forth in Holden’s arms, crying uncontrollably, getting snot all over Matthew’s best friend in the process.

“He can’t die. He can’t. I … just got him back.” I blubbered over and over again.

Holden just held me. I was grateful he wasn’t giving me false promises even though I might like to hear them. It’d hurt more if they weren’t real.

Bridget had taken Charlotte outside for some “air.”Fuck her.

“Cassie, honey,” a familiar voice called again, and there was a comfort and safety about it.

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