Page 59 of Pretend for Me

Cassie shifted in the bed to look at me in the darkness of the room. The moonlight and lightning acted as natural illumination as I tried to make out her expression.

“What’s so funny?” Cassie questioned, flicking my chest with her fingers.

I pouted, kissing her on the lips once more. “I was thinking how I’ll finally get a good night’s sleep with you here,” I said, bemused, inhaling her scent.

Cassie snorted. “Seriously? That’s what you’re thinking about after what we just did?”

I nodded into the crook of her neck. “I haven’t slept since you left,” I whispered. “Not really.” My breath on her neck gave her goosebumps.

“I can imagine.” Cassie went quiet, too quiet.

I knew what she was thinking about. The regrets. The what ifs.

“Stop, Cass, we’re together now. That’s all that matters.”

After post-coital bliss and cuddles, Cassie got out of bed, stating she needed to stretch her limbs and use the bathroom. Once she was done, she called out that she was going to check on Rocky, who was probably scarred for life. Throwing on my semi-dry white button down and haphazardly buttoning it, she left the bedroom to head to my office. I heard a loud gasp resounding throughout the apartment.

“Matthew, why is my painting of us hanging in your apartment?”

31

CASSIE

“Do you need to hit every friggin’ pothole in the city?”

I glanced at Audrey in the rearview mirror, giving her a pointed look. This was the third time she’d complained about Matthew’s driving, and we hadn’t even left the city yet.

I laughed at their banter, taking his hand in mine.

“What’s with the backseat driving, Aud?” I questioned, placing a kiss on Matthew’s hand that wasn’t clutching the steering wheel. It was amazing how at ease I felt in the car. My nervous system felt renewed. I guess the truth really does set you free. Something to cover in therapy, I suppose.

Audrey sighed, shifting nervously in the back seat. “I’m sorry, guys. I don’t mean to be such a pest. It’s just that I'm nervous. This is my closure. This is me saying I’m sorry to my daughter and goodbye,” Audrey admitted, biting her lip. Even though she wouldn’t say it, I knew this was shameful for Audrey. She prided herself on being strong for everyone. But Audrey didn't realize everybody needed to be vulnerable sometimes.

Finding out Olivia’s final resting place was easy. The hard part was working up the courage to actually visit the cemeterythat housed her baby. The baby she wasn’t ready for. The baby she would have to live without for eternity. Once Audrey texted me to tell me it was time, Matthew offered to drive us Upstate, hence the road trip. We knew Audrey needed all the support and strength she could get.

Matthew pulled the car over at the restaurant, running around the car to open my door, while Audrey rolled her eyes at our exchange.

Once we were all out of the car, Matthew went over to Audrey, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “Audrey, if there was hope for us, there’s hope for you. You deserve forgiveness. You deserve closure. Only you can give yourself that gift,” Matthew murmured sincerely.

I looked on as my best friend and boyfriend exchanged words. Matthew asked me to be his girlfriend in between the many rounds of catching up. I was thrilled that Audrey and Matthew not only got along well, but they had their own special bond. Aside from Matthew and Charlie, Audrey was the only family I had.

I went over to hug her as well. “He’s right, Audrey. You’re a terrific mother. I would know.” My eyes filled with tears. Even though she was only ten years older than I was, Audrey took on that role in my life when I felt hopeless. I thanked my lucky stars every day for her.

Now it was Audrey who deserved her own happiness.

I stood on my tippy toes to reach Matthew’s lips, locking him into a searing kiss. Audrey backed away, blanching at us making out so freely.

Our tongues entangled, not caring about passersby or poor Audrey having to witness our public display of affection.

You would have thought we went days without seeing each other. Not just an hour while I went to my apartment to pickup the replacement painting to hang in the hallway at the restaurant. But we did have years to make up for.

Bridget had been badgering me to paint something to go in the empty space where the painting Matthew bought once hung.

I smirked into Matthew’s mouth at the memory of finding my painting hanging in his foyer. Like it belonged there. LikeIbelonged there.

“Matthew,why is my painting of us hanging in your apartment?” I called to him from the living room.

Matthew apprehensively peeked his head out of the master bedroom to look at me.

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