Page 42 of Pretend for Me

I turned to see none other than Audrey gaping at me with wide eyes.

“Good morning, Matthew,” Audrey said sheepishly, biting her lip.

“Audrey, hey! What brings you here?” I peeked into the carrier and saw a white striped cat hissing. “Friendly,” I remarked, smirking.

“Usually Oreo is. He just hates the vet,” Audrey said, defensively.

I couldn’t help but do a quick glance around the office, checking to see if Audrey had company.

“She’s not here. Cassie,” Audrey offered, patting the seat next to her and motioning for me to sit.

Rocky started for Oreo, and I tugged on the leash. “Sit,” I commanded, putting some distance between him and the cat. Rocky still seemed unsettled.

“Allow me.” Audrey crouched down next to Rocky and began petting him. “Hey, boy,” she cooed, scratching behind his ears.

I was amazed at Audrey’s ability to calm him so quickly, usually nothing worked. “You’re good with him. Is he your only pet?” I inquired as I gestured to Oreo.

“No, I have two other cats. They are all strays that I rescued. I love dogs too, but cats are usually the ones thrown out on the street. They could use a good home,” she commented. “Plus animals are easier than people.”

I nodded. I was surprised Audrey was being so nice to me. I could only imagine the horrible light I had been painted in. But yet she was nothing but kind.

I wanted to ask about Cassie, but I knew it was inappropriate, considering our last conversation. Cassie made it abundantly clear where we stood.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I blurted. Apparently a few days of not working had an effect on my filter and ability to have basic human interactions.

Audrey let out a snort, brushed the dog fur from her hands, and went back to the bench to check on Oreo, who was now purring.

“Oreo Martinez?” the nurse called, and I watched Audrey disappear into the backroom.

I fiddled with my phone and then flipped through a magazine. “Where’s Rocky?” Audrey asked as she walked into the waiting room once more.

“Rocky’s getting groomed and his nails cut,” I alerted Audrey, wanting to ask her so many things.

“To answer your question from before, I’m in no position to judge you, Matthew. First of all, whatever happened betweenyou and Cassie is none of my business. As far as I can tell, you both made mistakes. I’m not going to pussyfoot around and say that Cassie is a saint because she’s my friend. But I’m also going to respect and support her.” She gave me a pointed look before continuing. “Most importantly, I, of all people, understand how one mistake can alter the entire trajectory of your life.”

I truly wasn’t expecting that answer, or for Audrey to be so very candid. I didn’t want to speak and interrupt her, so I simply motioned for her to continue. Audrey took a deep breath and looked solemnly in no particular direction.

“You do one wrong thing. One. And then there’s this domino effect. The pieces keep falling and falling, and you don’t know what to do.” Her voice had grown soft in tone but the meaning behind the words wasn’t lost on me.

I nodded, resonating with everything she was telling me.

“You seem like a good guy, Matthew. I’ve been around the block, so I know bad people. You’re hardly that. Have you messed up? Sure. But we all have in one way or another. Some of us are better at dealing with the pain than others. Some of us are still paying for the mistakes and bad choices we've made years ago.” Audrey smiled, wistfully. “I made a horrible mistake—well actually, a few mistakes—when I was sixteen.” She paused, taking another deep breath.

My interest in the matter piqued. “What happened?” I inquired, crossing my legs.

Audrey looked down at her hands and bit her lip. “I was a wild child. My parents worked a lot and were never home. I was lonely, so I partied. I drank and did drugs. All of those decisions led me to getting pregnant at seventeen. The father was a drug addict. We decided in spite of it all to keep the baby. My parents didn’t agree with that choice and kicked me out. My boyfriend picked me up from my parents’ house post-fight and I insistedon driving because he was high. It was so dark and foggy.” Audrey’s eyes filled with tears.

“I crashed the car into a pole. It killed Maddox, my boyfriend, instantly, and put me into early labor.” Audrey trailed off, looking at me, “The baby–Olivia—my daughter didn’t make it.” The tears streamed down Audrey’s face.

I handed her a tissue from the box on the end table beside us. “Audrey, I’m so sorry,” I whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. It must have been enough reassurance because she continued her story.

“It was a humbling time having to beg my parents to pay for my daughter’s burial. And they did. But they never even gave me any information as to where her final resting spot is. Then they changed their phone numbers, leaving me without answers. Who does that?” Audrey laughed bitterly. “Granted, I’m not ready to face her. It’s been so long. I’m not worthy of visiting.”

She looked me in the eye and shrugged. “You see, I know all about mistakes. But you both still have a chance to make things right.” Audrey paused. “Cassie still loves you. She’s been through so much. You both have. But she’s terrified of getting hurt again. Her walls are sky high. It took me years to get her to break them down as far as she has. I would hate for you both to ruin your life, like I did. With so many regrets twenty years later,” Audrey admitted, earnestly. She stood and walked to get more tissues from the box.

I blinked and inhaled sharply. I wasn’t about to rebut Audrey, not when she was pouring her heart out, but I found it difficult to believe Cassie still loved me. The only thing that had given me solace about that exchange was that I didn’t see her face telling me those treacherous words. Nevertheless, I appreciated the sentiment Audrey was trying to convey.

I stood and moved beside her. “It's not too late, Audrey. You still can get closure. Forgiving yourself is the first step.”

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