Page 25 of Pretend for Me

I dug into my pockets, only to find nothing. Sheepishly I looked down. “I’ll run to the store and get some.”

Cassie shook her head, finally meeting my gaze. I took a deep breath, peering into Cassie’s beautiful golden eyes.

I stood there frozen before turning to ask Charlie, “You have a boyfriend?”

“Not anymore,” Cassie chastised.

I rolled my eyes. “Semantics.”

Breakups were terrible, no matter your age or how long you’d been together, but especially when you were young. I knew better than anyone.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked Charlie, who just shrugged in response. “You want to go back to my place and take a nap?”

Charlie shook her head. “I just want to go home.”

“Charlie, you can’t go home like this, and didn’t you say that nobody’s home until tomorrow because Nia is doing a double?” I implored, tucking her under my arm.

“Yes, but—” Charlie protested.

Cassie tried to wipe her eyes as best as she could, but Charlie was still wearing that thick black eyeliner, and now it was smudged all across her face. If she didn’t look like a raccoon before, she certainly did now.

“But nothing. Come back to the apartment and clean up. I’ll take you home later on,” I declared. I’d probably stop by the office later tonight and try to clean up some of my mess as well.

Cassie stood there as Charlie and I made our way down the stairs. She looked down at her feet, and I took notice at the same time Charlie did.

“Cassie, please come with us,” Charlie urged, her chest heaving.

“Umm, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Cassie stated, playing with the loose threads at the hem of her sundress.

“Cassie, you’re welcome in my apartment. Rocky would be thrilled to see you,” I revealed, not knowing if Charlie had told her about Rocky yet.

Surprise colored Cassie’s features as her eyes lit up and mouth popped open. “You took Rocky?”

I nodded solemnly, cupping the back of my neck. “Yeah, I—I found Beau, and then I just couldn’t leave—couldn’t leave Rocky,” I explained, shrugging. This whole thing was uncomfortable. I fucking hated it.

“I didn’t know what happened to him,” she whispered, nodding. “I’m glad he’s with you.”

I nodded once more, not sure how to respond to her kind words. For as much as I had changed in the last decade, I hoped she would see the traces of the shy kid she’d fallen in love with.We still had a long way to go if there was even a hope of this not being a one-time thing, but for now I had to be grateful for what she’d given me.

An olive branch.

14

CASSIE

The trip back to Matthew’s apartment was a rollercoaster. An emotional one. We walked through the busy streets in near silence, save for Charlie sniffling every so often. Matthew kept trying to steal glances in my direction, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes. The brief moment in the museum where our eyes locked had stirred up so many memories that I wasn’t ready to face. I just need to get through the next little bit, and then I could return to my new normal. One that wasn’t consumed by thoughts of the green-eyed boy who I’d let go years ago.

As we stepped into the building, I looked around the extravagant lobby with a mix of quiet disgust and resignation. I should have known he would be living in a place like this. Characterless. Over-the-top. All for show.

I preferred buildings with stories built into them, not sterile white walls, like those similar to institutions.

A little voice in my mind shouted that the old Matthew would have hated this shit.

I shook my head, reminding myself the old Matthew no longer existed. Ten years had passed and I still found it hard to wrap my head around how much had changed.

The silence as we made our way up in the elevator was deafening. I did my best to keep my hands steady, to not give any indication of how uncomfortable I was at being in this confined space with him. How overpowering his scent was. How I longed to close the distance between us and feel his warmth. Once it had finished climbing to the highest floor, the doors opened and Charlie ran out and down the hall, yelling over her shoulder that she’d be out in a minute.

Matthew and I stood in the foyer, not really knowing how to act around each other. I shuffled my feet, yearning to take another step into his domain, wanting to get a glimpse of his life these days. But I was a stranger to this new life he had built and I couldn’t help but feel like I didn’t belong. My eyes darted around the room, trying to think of how I could easily escape.

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