Page 1 of Pretend for Me

PROLOGUE

CASSIE

"Cassie, I’m sorry. There’s just no other way. What do you want me to do? Tell my father to go fuck himself?"

I rolled my eyes before glancing at Matthew, spotting how his hands clutched the steering wheel as if it were a lifeline.

I took my time, really looking at him for what felt like the first time in forever. Maybe it had been forever since Ireallysaw him and not just the version of him I struggled to preserve. This new and "improved" Matthew wasn’t recognizable.

His usually wild hair was coiffed. He had on a three-piece designer suit that was tailored to his now sculpted body. He had an expensive, diamond-encrusted watch on his right wrist—a gift from his adoptive father to commemorate Matthew agreeing to join the firm.

To anyone else, he appeared like an aspiring businessman. To me, he looked like an asshole. He turned into everything he swore he wouldn't. Everything he hated.

For what?I asked myself.A last name?

I nodded absentmindedly, realizing he was still waiting for a response to his justification.

"What the hell happened to you?" I muttered, taking a deep breath.

Pull it together, Cassie.

This wasn't me. I’d worked my whole life to protect myself from this very moment. The moment where Matthew wasn’t mine anymore.

Matthew blew out a breath. By the rigid set of his shoulders and the tense expression plastered on his face, I could tell he hated that we were finally having this conversation. "My father expects me to accept this internship and then do my charity work for the company. It's what's been planned out for me. I owe him this. You know he doesn't approve of?—"

"Me," I finished his sentence for him. No point denying the truth. I was the dirty little secret that his family hated. Poor orphan girl, who self-sabotaged herself from a chance at a real family, time and time again.

"Cut the crap. Maybe if you stopped the sanctimonious bullshit, you would have been adopted too!" Matthew blurted, "Cassie, you wouldn't understand because you don't have parents like this!" His eyes widened as he realized what he’d said.

I couldn’t help but wince. Getting hit would have been better than hearing those words. I couldn't hide any longer. He’d always had the power to break me. I just never knew he would use it. All those years in foster homes, protecting me—loving me—now meant nothing.

Matthew kept his eyes straight, focusing on the road. "Cassie?—"

"No, you're right—I don't have a family. But guess what? At least I'm still me. I don't play the orphan card, or the fucked-up foster care system card. And I certainly didn't turn into an asshole because of a last name or a fucking job."

Matthew shook his head, turning so that he was looking at me. I wonder if he really saw me, though. "Cassie, please."

My tough outer shell had started to crack, and I was more damaged than Matthew even realized. "Baby," he whispered, like a prayer. His hand reached out to me, grazing my knuckles, but I quickly snatched it away.

"Don't!" I said through gritted teeth, intently watching the cars in front of us.

We had been together since we were four years old. Nothing could mean more to me than Matty. But what if that wasn't enough to be together … to stay together? Had our fight for one another played out?

Matthew was right—I did sabotage prospective families like they were a dime a dozen. But what he didn't know was I did it so we wouldn't be separated. Night after night, I prayed that I wouldn't get adopted, just so we could stay with each other a little longer. It took Matthew more time to get adopted given his condition, but when he did, he struck a gold mine. I just aged out and now I was more alone than ever.

We sat in uncomfortable silence for the next few minutes. I just picked at my fingernails as I weighed my options. I could stay in this car, in this relationship, feeling suffocated and losing a piece of myself every day, or I could just escape.

The one thing I’d wanted my whole life was to be free. While Matthew’s world was vastly different than my own, he never treated me differently, at least I never noticed it. Not until tonight. I couldn’t keep this facade up anymore. He needed to be free of me, and I needed to stand on my own two feet. It was time that we stopped pretending we had anything in common anymore.

The car rolled to a stop at the next red light. In the dead of night, all you could see were taillights in front of us. I tookthis as my opportunity. I grabbed my bag, which held all my possessions, jumped out of the car, and ran into the night.

Matthew called my name, but it was no use. I had turned into merely a memory of the girl he once loved.

1

CASSIE

10 years later