Page 14 of Pretend for Me

I pursed my lips, not buying Charlie’s explanation. “Charlotte! I can smell bullshit from a mile away. Don’t try to lie to me.”

“Well, about that. Matthew might have let it slip that you slapped him at your big reunion fiasco at that fancy restaurant,” Charlie blurted, smiling nervously, waiting for my reaction.

I was stunned. I hadn’t realized that Charlie and Matthew had kept in contact and were close enough where he would share details of our reunion with her. I was surprised he was speaking about me at all. Let alone venting about the slap.

It was my turn to be embarrassed. “Not one of my finest moments,” I said sheepishly, chewing on my fingernails as I glanced back at Derek, who didn’t look happy about us speaking.

“Matthew deserved it. I’m totally Team Cassie, babe,” Charlie said flippantly, following my gaze. “Just one more minute, dollface!” Charlie shouted back to her “friend.”

“Is he your boy—” I started but was quickly cut off.

“I get why you ran away back then. But … I do think you two need to work your shit out. He’s miserable without you, and so am I for that matter. You know you left me too, woman,” Charlie chastised.

I cringed. I had left Charlie behind. At the time, I had been so focused on getting as far away from Matthew and his family as possible that I hadn’t stopped to think about everything else I’d be leaving. The universe obviously wanted me to have the chance for closure of all sorts. “I’m here now.” I touched Charlie’s forearm, causing her to look at me. There was sadness in her eyes despite the joking manner in which she had been speaking.

I reached into my bag and pulled out the flowers I’d purchased at the corner stand before I hopped on the train.

“Who are the flowers for?” Charlie asked, always so nosey.

“Beau.” I said solemnly, “I came here to say goodbye, in my own way.” I made my way farther into the grassy field under the overpass. I could see him so clearly, standing there with Rocky.

I crouched down and laid the bouquet on the ground, an empty feeling blooming in my chest making me realize I could never have anticipated what it felt like to come here. I hadn’t known Beau all that well, but he had saved me from slipping on some ice when I was sixteen. It was such a dark time in my life. Matthew had left me alone a lot, busy with his other life, and it felt like the only time we saw each other was when I would accompany him to parties.

Despite his struggles, and being “home-challenged,” Beau was kind. He had been a good friend to me, and I had fond memories of both him and Rocky. In him, I had found a kindred spirit because I knew what it felt like to be without a home.

“He mentions him all the time,” Charlie offered.

I ignored it, not wanting to talk about Matthew.

“We should go out. Maybe next week?” Charlie suggested, smiling softly. “I can meet you in the city? Where do you live?”

I took a deep breath. If I told Charlie where I lived, there was the chance Charlie may relay that information to Matthew, and I couldn’t allow that to happen. I fiddled with the strap of my bag as I tried to come up with a way to avoid giving away too much of my personal information.

“Or how about we go to an art exhibit or something?” Charlie offered.

“Sure. That would be great. Does next Saturday work?” I didn’t have anywhere to be, being unemployed and all.

Charlie nodded and started walking backward to Derek before she ran back to hug me. “I really did miss you!” She squeezed me tightly. “Oh wait, do you have a phone?”

I nodded, pulling out my cell phone. “What’s your number?”

Charlie rattled off her number and I told her I’d text her with the details of this art show I’d been wanting to check out, so that she’d have my number as well. We said our goodbyes, and Charlie took off with her “friend” into the night.

I shook my head and chuckled when I realized that Matthew probably had no idea about this little “companion” Charlie had. He had always been overprotective of Charlie, so there was no way he would have allowed her to continue to hang out with Derek. What I wouldn’t give to see his face when he did find out.

Walking to the train station, distant memories from my childhood hit me like a ton of bricks as I walked through my old stomping grounds. Passing all the places we had frequented, I allowed the scenes to play out in my head like an old movie reel. The spot where we had our first kiss. It was now condos but still I could picture it as it once was. Where I face-planted when he tried to teach me how to skateboard. Where we had our first real make out session. Where we would go on “dates.” Where I loved him so. A lifetime of history and nothing to show for it. Nothing but pain and sorrow.

9

MATTHEW

The tempo of Midtown Manhattan was always full of hustle and bustle, but especially at lunchtime. This was no different for Sonny's on 5th. Saturdays were an animal in and of themselves.

I straightened my suit jacket and walked into the empty dining room. I had a plan up my sleeve, but the one thing I’d learned during my time in the business world was not to reveal my cards too early. I walked through the normally crowded restaurant with confidence, my back straight, gaze fixed on my target. I didn’t want to mess up Bridget’s feature in theTimes, but I’d have no problem causing a ruckus if she gave me a hard time about rehiring Cassie.

It didn’t take me long to find Bridget at the smaller bar in the outside gazebo area. She was adjusting the bottles on the shelf so that all the labels lined up perfectly.

“Bridget,” I said, announcing my presence.

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