Page 24 of Keeping Kama

Fiddling with the salt and pepper shakers on the table, Derek forced himself to stop. Randomly, Derek asked, “Do you eat breakfast before your long runs?”

After learning Leia was training for a marathon, Derek spent the last evening researching about what it would take for him to get back into shape to run a marathon himself. It was still something he was vaguely interested in completing, but Leia was springing him into action.

“No,” Leia tilted her head to the side, studying him. “I mean I don’t eat a full breakfast, maybe a banana or half a bagel with a gel.”

“Gels,” Derek took a sip of his soda. “Are those the little packets of goop that taste horrible and make you gag?”

Leia laughed. “Yep.” She nodded, resting her elbow on the table. “When I first started using them on my runs, they made me gag every single time. I finally found one type that tastes okay. I have to take them or I’ll hit the dreaded runner’s wall. Then I can’t finish my run.” She ran a finger down the length of her silverware sitting on top of a napkin.

Shifting forward in his chair, Derek said, “It sounds like you are speaking from experience.”

“Unfortunately, yes.” She removed her hand from her silverware and rubbed it across her thighs. “Once, when I first started training for long distances, I literally left my house with nothing other than water. I hadn’t even eaten anything before starting. I hit mile ten, and my body started to shut down. I sat down on the ground and called my mom to come pick me up. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I’ve learned a lot about running since then.”

Derek forced himself to take another sip of his soda. “I bet.” Derek leaned back in his chair, faking a casual state. “You’ve inspired me to get back into running. But I don’t even know where to start. I can’t even run a mile anymore. It’s pathetic.”

Leia placed a hand over the top of his. “You aren’t pathetic.” Her voice oozed compassion. “Start with one minute then add another minute. Just go slow. Everybody must start somewhere. I believe in you.”

“Th—thanks.” Derek blinked, trying to remember how to speak. “It means a lot.”

They were interrupted by the delivery of their food. The server set their plates down and left. Wafting off the plate, the delicious tantalizing smell of pancakes made Derek’s mouth water.

As he stared down at the pancakes, Derek chuckled. “These are huge.” He gripped his fork and placed his napkin in his lap.

Leia smiled. “You said you were hungry.” Picking up the little cup of syrup on the corner of the plate, Leia poured some over her pancakes. “But you did order us the triple stack.” She picked up her fork too and cut into the pancakes.

Derek muttered, “I didn’t realize they were the size of a serving platter.”

Taking a bite, Leia waited until she swallowed then said, “I’m glad, because I’ll probably polish these off. I worked up an appetite trying my best to show off.”

Derek poured syrup over his pancakes. Shaking a fork at her, Derek said, “I knew you were trying to impress me,” he winked.

After she finished a sip of her soda, Leia gave a single nod as she took another bite. Finally, Derek tried a piece of the pancake. As the sweet, spongy texture hit his tongue, he sighed with delight.

“Mm.” Derek pointed to his mouth. “These are delicious.” He couldn’t help but lick a drip of syrup off his bottom lip.

Smugly, Leia said, “I told you.”

For a few minutes, they ate in silence. Both enjoying the pancakes after a morning out in the waves.

Breaking the lull, Derek commented, “My mom used to make me pancakes every Sunday morning when I was a kid. I have very fond memories of waking up to the smell of pancakes and bacon.”

Sadness washed over him. The deep ache in his chest bubbled up to the surface, and Derek missed his mom all over again.

Wiping her face with her napkin, Leia fiddled with her fork for a moment, before she asked, “What were your parents like? Did you get along with them?” Without taking her gaze off him, Leia cut into her pancake.

Derek rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Oh, are we getting all personal now?” What he intended to be flirty came across as harsh. A lump formed in his throat. Derek forced himself to take a sip of his soda. Even after swallowing, it remained.

“I apologize. I thought you bringing them up meant you were okay to talk about them.” Leia’s back stiffened. She took another small bite and looked away. “I was only trying to make conversation. We don’t have to getpersonal.”

Lightly, Derek touched her bicep. “I’m sorry. That came out all wrong.” He let go, rubbing his stubble with one of his thumbs. Sitting up straight, Derek exhaled then continued, “As you can see, I’m a bit rusty at flirting.” He took a deep calming breath and found her glance as he said, “My mom made everything magical. Dr. Seuss day, she made green eggs and ham. On the fourth of July, she decked herself out in red, white, and blue from head to toe. My dad was quieter and more reserved, but I knew he loved my mom and would do anything for her. My dad went along with all her outlandish plans, over the top parties, and extensive list of itineraries on family vacations. I know they had their problems like any couple does, but I always knew they loved each other. I realize now what a gift that was to see day in and day out. Two people who despite their own faults and misgivings, choosing to look past the imperfections and simply love each other. I hope someday to find what they had.”

Slowly, Leia licked her fork and set it down on her plate. Her forearms resting on the table, Leia asked, “If you could pinpoint one thing, what do you think they had that made their marriage work?”

“Love.” Derek had the strongest urge to lean in and kiss her, which was absurd. With a jittery hand, Derek forced himself to pick up his soda and take a sip. Setting his soda back down, he added, “They had love. And it was enough.”

Wistfully, Leia sighed. “Love, it always comes back to that, doesn’t it?”

His neck stiffened. “Too bad it can feel impossible to find,” remarked Derek.

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